Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A Lot of Both

Via Abstruse Goose, this is simultaneously the most depressing and most inspiring chart you'll ever see.

Big picture: we are bricks.

When it comes to hearing, most animals have us beat all over the place. And we may have the advantage of color vision, but we're pretty low on visual acuity for a predator species.

Add in a third dimension to that graph - smell - our chunk of the sensory pie starts looking pretty gloomy by comparison.


There is not one single part of that graph that humans can not reach out to with mechanical devices and bring into our little chunk of the spectrum, if we so choose.

Because, unlike other animals, we KNOW we're limited by our senses.

And we decided to do something about it.

Like I said - inspiring.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Old White Guy Who Played Blues Like an Even Older Black Guy

I was prepared to not be impressed.

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #208,881)

30 seconds in, I was tapping my foot, nodding my head, and feeling that strange mix of sad-happy that really good blues music always makes me feel.

Sunday, December 25, 2011


Defined as:
"an aesthetic sensibility that regards something as appealing because of its taste and ironic value. The concept is closely related to kitsch, and things with camp appeal may also be described as being "cheesy"."

see also:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #76,974)

So bad that it rises to the level of genius. Even worse, it's impossible to resist the temptation to show this to everyone you know who likes Star Trek.

Thus, this post.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Nice Sentiment, But He's Lying

Normally, I'd give this a big thumbs up:

[YouTube direct link]

but the guidelines he refers to that prohibit specific holiday greetings only apply to messages that are mailed out. And only if the postage is paid for by the taxpayer.

So, he's not a brave, anti-PC crusader, just a politician doing a publicity stunt before an election.

Merry Christmas anyway, Scott.

Saturday, December 17, 2011


Via A Trainwreck in Maxwell:

Naughty child doesn't have a train ticket, argues about it, loses.

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,735,791)

Bonus for Scottish accents so thick they need subtitles.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Let Me Know If You Were The Other One

Via Very Demotivational:

I only post this because I was one of the two people in America who paid money to see Chopping Mall in the theater.

Let the Complaining Begin

This is actually a very clever and entertaining synopsis of television programming's "progress" since 1949:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #17,923)

However, it will inevitably lead to loud cries of "I can't believe they didn't mention __________!"

So go ahead and start filling in the blank, because it'll drive you crazy not to.


...there, I feel better now.


From The Hill:
Obama's campaign website now offers donors a chance to enter the name and email of "a Republican in your life" that will be used to "send them a message letting them know they inspired you to donate."

Ben LaBolt, the Obama campaign's press secretary, tweeted later on Wednesday that "the email addresses are not stored."

Not buying it.

Those email addresses will be right there in the "sent mail" folder, along with the email addresses of every recipient of an email from the campaign.

And they're quite possibly sortable by subject line - they just need to do a search for "your slimy liberal 'friend' fingered you" [or however they finally decide to phrase it].

If Ben LaBolt had said they didn't specifically tuck those email addresses away in a separate database, I'd believe that, but that's not what he said.

Thus the title of this post.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Saw this picture at American Digest:

And for some reason my brain immediately answered "yes".

Here's when:

Back in the late 1980's, I was in the Navy, stationed on board the Enterprise, which at the time was home-ported in Alameda, California (fans of Star Trek IV may remember this). I didn't own a car at the time. I got everywhere I needed to go via bicycle. The Bay Area has a nice public transportation system, (Bay Area Rapid Transit, or BART trains) which allowed you to bring your bike on board.

The problem was that Alameda was an island separated from Oakland by 1000 feet of water, and the nearest BART station was in Oakland.

However, there's a mile-long tunnel under the water called the Posey Tube. The road was two narrow, shoulderless lanes, and biking that would've been instant death. However, the Posey Tube also had a pedestrian walkway. So I'd ride my bike on that.

Couple things you should know: it's only about 4 feet wide, and it goes downhill for half a mile, then uphill for half a mile.

And what I used to do was coast down that half mile full speed without touching the brakes, probably going about 30 mph, with a wall a foot from one hand, and a rail a foot from the other. If I sneezed or flinched or hit a pebble, I'd have been broken and bleeding.

But oh... I felt so alive.

Anyway, I'm not the only lunatic on the planet, and this lunatic had a camera. Probably want to jump ahead to the 1:30 mark, as he gets ready to enter the Tube itself.

At about 2:45, he gets stuck behind a jogger and you get a feel for how really narrow the walkway is:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #869)

Side note: I never met anyone coming the other way on my trips, but I did get stuck behind someone once. It's so deafeningly loud in there from the traffic that I couldn't get his attention. I walked for 10 minutes.

I'm OK With It

When I first saw this headline:

U.S. Proposes Unmanned U.S.-Mexico Border Crossing

I thought "Great. Way to undermine border security."

After considering it, though, it's probably a good idea, or at least not a bad one.

This thing will have cameras, it'll be monitored, and it'll make life easier for law-abiding people who have their passports.

I think of it as being like a self-checkout lane at the grocery store.

Sneaky illegal types & smugglers will still cross elsewhere so they aren't seen at all. The existence of the proposed border crossing won't affect them one way or another.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Boiling Away

This sentence by Harry Reid just struck me:
"Only a tiny fraction of people making more than a million dollars, probably less than one percent, are actually small business owners and only a tiny fraction of that tiny fraction is a traditional job creator."

Interesting word choices here:

* "probably" less than 1%: he has no idea what the number is.

* "small" business owners - he wants you to think of a mom & pop store that barely scrapes by, but by SBA rules, "small" can mean up to 1500 employees and $27 million in sales.

* "traditional" job creator: if you're not "traditional," you don't count (although he doesn't explain why not - other than to lower the number). I assume that's his way of discounting everyone who uses a computer during work hours, but he never defines the word.

So when you boil down his words to find out what he actually said, you find it has no solid meaning. It all simply goes to steam and fog and drifts away without substance.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Can You Find It?

The Puppy Blender pops an interesting topic: can you find your flashlight in a blackout?

I once got caught in a blackout with no idea whatsoever where my nearest non-120VAC light-source was.

Since then I've scattered flashlights about the house like freakin' cat toys (and I've got 5 cats, so that should tell you something.)

Went to Amazon & got 7 of these bad boys (to qualify for free shipping). They even come with free batteries, and they'll stay lit for about 24 hours straight. Put one next to everywhere you normally sit in the house, and a power outage will never be a problem for you.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Not Wishing You a Happy Hanukkah

Look, I'm not Jewish, and I grew up in a small town in Wisconsin, so I never even met any Jews while I was growing up.

But here's the deal.

If I were to celebrate Hanukkah for some reason, I'd do it right. By doing it on the right days, lighting the candles the right way, saying the magic Hanukkah words, eating magic Hanukkah food (which is, I assume, what Jews do for 8 days - honestly, I don't know any more about this holiday than non-SWPL white people know about Kwanzaa).

I would NOT celebrate it 2 weeks early and light all the candles at once.

Apparently President Obama doesn't have as much of a problem with being an irreverant, charmless clod.

So I think I'm leaning towards Doug Urbanski's explanation:
"Obama celebrated Hanukkah at the White House two weeks early. Is this his way of winking at his Islamofascist friends, saying 'I hate Israel with you'?"

Thursday, December 8, 2011


Now they're comparing Obama to Teddy Roosevelt?

I've heard the media compare him to Lincoln, Wilson, Coolidge, Hoover, FDR, Truman, Kennedy, Reagan and Clinton now.

Funny how they keep skipping over the one-term, peanut-farming incompetent that his Presidency actually bears a resemblance to.

UPDATE 12-13: I said it a lot pithierly than the ever-windy VDH.

Courtesy Linkage

John Hawkins of Right Wing News did a survey on the GOP 2012 field, in which I participated:

1) If you had to pick a 2012 GOP contender today, which of the following candidates would you select?

Newt Gingrich - he talks too much without saying anything, and he's wobbly on principles, but he's enough of a political animal that the Tea Party folks in Congress will be able to keep him in line, because that's the way the political winds are blowing, and Newt's a windsock.

2) Which candidate would you LEAST like to see as the GOP nominee in 2012?

Mitt Romney - Might as well re-elect Obama.

3) If your top choice couldn't get the nomination, which candidate would be your second choice?

Rick Perry - another "pressurable politician". Plus he sounds like he just kinda hates Democrats in general, so listening to his speeches would be fun.

4) Do you consider Newt Gingrich to be a conservative?

Yes - but not necessarily a wise or principled one.

5) Do you consider Ron Paul to be a conservative?

Yes - to the degree that a libertarian can fall into that category

6) Do you consider Mitt Romney to be a conservative?


7) If you had to choose between Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney, which candidate would you select?

Newt Gingrich

8) Which candidate do you think would be more likely to beat Barack Obama in 2012?

Newt Gingrich - I'm not saying Mitt, because Mitt's a worse "conservative" than John McCain was, and Romney couldn't even beat HIM.


I've mentioned I'm not an Apple fan. So when I read that they're getting the rug pulled out from under them by China because "Steve E. Jobs - Super Genius" forgot to buy the trademark for "iPad" from it's rightful owner, I have to admit my reaction was very much something like this:

[YouTube direct link]

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Seriously, Though, It's Time

Via CBS:
The U.S. Postal Service on Monday morning announced major budget and service cuts.

As a result of the $3 billion in cuts, first-class mail that used to take just one day to deliver will now take two to three days. Stamps will also rise in cost by 1 cent to 45 cents, starting next month.


Nobody's talking about the elephant in the room?

Nobody's even going to whisper the words "legalize the private delivery of first-class mail"?

Nobody's going to suggest that it's WAY past time to let FedEx and UPS get into the letter-delivery business?

Fine. Then I won't either.


From CNS News:
The man pushing to get the military to install "atheist chaplains" in the armed forces told government-subsidized National Public Radio that military officers should not be praying with their men before going out on missions.
As a non-evangelical atheist, I'd like to take this opportunity to distance myself from this thin-skulled pantswetter. He does not speak for me.

Don't believe if you don't believe, but there's no excuse for not showing courtesy to those who do.

Super Smart!

From The Sun:
A HEADTEACHER got a roasting yesterday for turning the school heating OFF on one of the coldest days of the year — to save the planet.

Pupils shivered in coats, hats and scarves as temperatures fell to just 1°C (34°F).

Head Rob Benzie switched off the radiators to show how the secondary school could cut its carbon footprint.
Mr Benzie said he hoped for another eco-day next term, adding: "I'd like it to be a regular event. We have too much heating — sometimes I have to turn it down as it can make students fall asleep.

"The idea was actually thought up by a small number of pupils from our student eco-group."
The reason we have schools is so that adults can pass their knowledge on to children.

Part of the that knowledge is "turning off the heat in December is a stupid idea".

Every last one of those eco-group smarties should've been ruler-swatted by irritable nuns for even speaking the notion aloud.

Yes, We Know. No, We Don't Care

Least important news of the day:
A new study shows many breakfast cereals pack so much sugar, they're more like desserts.

Big deal. They've also been fortified with a ton of vitamins & minerals, and kids will actually eat the stuff.

Not to mention the free toys.

The Environmental Working Group can go stuff it's busybody nanny-nose into a barrel of tofu and snort until it dies of malnutrition.

Which won't take long, since tofu is pretty much empty calories with no significant nutritional value.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Sorta Cool

I'm not usually a big fan of "real life versions of cartoon characters", but I'm a huge fan of Futurama, so this would be the exception.

Dr. Zoidberg looks vaguely menacing with pointy face-tentacles, but Nibbler's still a cutie-pie.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

This Is Why I Hate Apple Products

Via Very Demotivational:

Pay particular attention to those bottom 2 lines.

And the fact that Microsoft's stock price has never recovered from those repeated Government-administered beatings.

Ok, it's also why I hate my government.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Get Your ThinkPad's Green Volume Bar Back

This post is mostly for my own reference, but since I had nigh-impossible time Googling this up, there may be other people with the same problem. Hopefully they'll find this post instead of poking fruitlessly at half a dozen forums like I had to.

If your ThinkPad's on-screen volume indicator bar has disappeared (or has never shown up), then you probably just need to download the Hotkey driver from Lenovo.

Run Setup from the installation destination folder
Rejoice at having an on-screen volume indicator bar.


Hotkey driver for Windows 98/Me/NT 4.0/2000/XP - ThinkPad
The following ThinkPad systems are supported:

- A20m, A20p, A21m, A21p, A22m, A22p
- A30, A30p, A31, A31p
- G40(*5), G41(*4)
- R30, R31, R32
- R40, R40e(*2)
- R50(*4), R50e(*4), R50p(*4), R51(*4), R51e(*4), R52(*4)
- s31(*2)
- T20, T21, T22, T23
- T30(*3)
- T40(*1), T40p(*4), T41(*1), T41p(*4), T42(*1), T42p(*4)
- T43(*6), T43p(*4)
- X22, X23, X24
- X30(*1), X31(*1), X32(*6)
- Z60m(*4), Z60t(*4)

(Note) *1: Windows Me is not supported.
*2: Windows XP is supported.
*3: Windows Me is supported on 2366/2367-x1x, x2x, x3x, x4x,
x5x, A6x and A7x except for M1x, M2x, M3x, M4x and M5x
*4: Windows 2000 and XP are supported.
*5: Windows 98SE, 2000 and XP are supported.
*6: Windows NT4, 2000 and XP are supported.
*7: Only Windows XP Tablet PC Edition 2005 is supported.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Right Fact, Wrong Conclusion

From a Wall Street Journal piece arguing that America needs more government controls:
The current debates about China's currency, the trade imbalance, our debt and China's excessive use of pirated American intellectual property are evidence that the Global Revolution-coupled with Deng Xiaoping's government-led, growth-oriented reforms-has created the planet's second-largest economy. It's on a clear trajectory to knock America off its perch by 2025.

Um... China has 4 times our population, yet economically, they're still in a VERY distant second place. Shouldn't that be considered evidence that their economic system is, shall we say, somewhat... lacking?

Commie apologists make me sick.

Seriously, WSJ, why are you giving this moron Andy Stern the time of day, much less column-inches?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Joe the Plumber Shrugged

Can't read this:
Union Pacific struggles to find enough electricians who have worked with diesel engines. Manufacturers in many places can't find enough machinists. Oil companies must fight for a limited supply of drilling-rig workers.

"There's a tremendous shortage of skilled workers," said Craig Giffi, a vice chairman of the consulting firm Deloitte. A recent survey it did found that 83% of manufacturers reported a moderate or severe shortage of skilled production workers to hire.

Without thinking of this:
"Give us men!" The plea began to hammer progressively louder upon the desk of the Unification Board, from all parts of a country ravaged by unemployment, and neither the pleaders nor the Board dared to add the dangerous words which the cry was implying: "Give us men of ability!" There were waiting lines years' long for the jobs of janitors, greasers, porters and bus boys; there was no one to apply for the jobs of executives, managers, superintendents, engineers.

I Die a Little Inside Every Time I See Him Rescue That Sleigh

Speaking of good mashups - Darth Vader as The Grinch:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #31,295)

I'm not sure if this is actually as good as I think it is, or if I'm prejudiced because I just LOVE hearing Thurl Ravenscroft sing that song.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Like Peanut Butter & Jelly

Most YouTube video mashups seem kinda pointless, random, and not well-executed in my estimation.

Sorta like a broccoli and chocolate syrup sandwich.

A very few get it right, and work out more like a PB & J

I think this falls in that category.

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #53,187)

Honestly, I never would've thought of this combo, but the narration fits the images perfectly.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

How to Drill a Square Hole

You just need the right drill bit:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #32,054)

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Save Us From Whiny People

Complainer complains because a California mall is using mobile phone device IDs to track pedestrian traffic to "see how people flow through the mall to help optimize retail space and merchandising."

Possible solutions:

A) Don't bring your cell phone into the mall
B) Don't shop at the mall
C) Realize you're already on camera, so it doesn't make any difference
D) Be glad that you live in a country where people who want your money get it by threatening you with a more convenient shopping experience. How awful!

First world problems just stink, don't they?

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Joy of Anvil

Richmond of One for the Road mentioned this to me recently, and Magniflorious Phule had the video, so here you go:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,852,206)

I'm So Old

Not only do I know what the "Scroll Lock" button on my keyboard is for, I've actually used it for its intended purpose.

Bad Advice

From Hot Air's Tina Korbe:
Newt has proved his positivity toward his fellow candidates - but "cheerful" is not exactly the word I'd use to characterize his clashes with a couple media personalities. If he can manage to be congenial with them from here on out, that would be the biggest triumph of all. The media - like the electorate - will be kinder to those they like than to those by whom they're merely impressed.

Tina, I'm afraid you're dead wrong. Newt has an R after his name. By definition the media won't like or be impressed by him.

Remember the "Maverick" McCain that the press adored in 2008 before Obama got the nomination? The rose got bloomless the second the Democrat convention was over.

Pandering to the liberal media is an ineffective strategy. Be confrontational. Make this like a court case and let the electorate be the jury. The media doesn't pick the winner, the voters do.

This Is New

From Politico:
The White House isn't feeling very kissy toward Benetton, after the publicity-loving clothing company photo-shopped President Obama into an ad smooching Chinese leader Hu Jintao and Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez.

"The White House has a long-standing policy disapproving of the use of the president's name and likeness for commercial purposes," deputy press secretary Eric Schultz said in a statement.

Oh, *really*, Eric?:

If there is a policy, it's obviously only against unflattering uses.

Still waiting for the recall order on 50 million Obama bobbleheads.

Or the rest of these assorted dust-gatherers.

A Bitter Joke

Having spent 4 years living on one of these, I gotta say they are weepingly inaccurate with the title "24 Hours on an Aircraft Carrier".

[Vimeo direct link]

What they show is "24 Hours with a Carrier's Air Wing".

Which is only 40% of the crew, and not even permanently attached to the ship.

They completely gloss over EVERYTHING that happens below the flight deck.

And I understand. You only have so much time, and all people know is "Top Gun", so you show what they know.

I know better. I know more. I know things that haunt me. I found this video shallow & superficial, and I resent it.

But if you keep in mind that's it's nothing but superficial fluff, it's not bad, production-wise.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

What Were They Thinking?

I'm guessing the thought process was, "Hey! Let's make a mega-gigantor TV, except without the convenience of a remote control!"

Mission Accomplished!


Via Very Demotivational:

I'm thankful that I live in a country where capitalism is as all-pervasive as nematodes.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Obama on the proposed graphic warning labels for cigarette packs:
"Today some big tobacco companies are trying to block these labels because they don't want to be honest about the consequences of using their products," said Obama.

Ironic coming from a man who wants government to "spread the wealth around".

Use of THAT product has consequences, too.

By the way, I think Obama's doctor is lying about Obama being "tobacco free." You can bet he chain-smokes half a pack of cigarettes out on the golf course every weekend.

Why do you think news photographers aren't allowed?

Monday, November 21, 2011

Do Not Watch the New Thing

This came up in conversation recently, so I'm putting this out as a warning about the new "The Thing" movie:

[The Escapist direct link]

I don't always agree with MovieBob's taste in movies, but I have to say he's an honest and objective enough reviewer that when he criticizes a movie's technical aspects, he's always right.

Politically, the man's a flaming liberal, so if he gushes over a movie's theme because it panders to PC tropes, I know to avoid those, but at least he's honest and up-front (if annoyingly unapologetic) about that, too, so at least I know which grain of salt to take his reviews with.

In this case, the theme of the movie never comes up, so I'll just trust him that this thing is a miserable snore-fest.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

In the Interest of Justice

I was visting Richmond of One for the Road, and while waiting for Sunday Night Football to start, we killed time watching the American Music Awards.

Nicki Manaj did some horrible thing that included gyrating her chunky bottom around in a robot costume while lip-synching some awful mouth-noise to a hypnotically boring beat.

I hear she did well.

I immediately hated her. Her "music" lacks both imagination and talent. She sounds exactly like everyone else in her genre.

And that bothers me. I prefer to watch people perform who are very good at what they do and enjoy doing it.

Like Jon Gomm:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #255,958)

You are NOT supposed to play the guitar like this, but he does it because breaking the "rules" allows him to create something better, and more beautiful, than he could do within their constraints.

Nicki Manaj breaks rules because she's a pouty child with daddy issues who just wants to draw attention to herself. Does anyone honestly think she cares in the least about quality or beauty?

Look, everyone wants to stand out. Everyone wants to be different. Nobody wants to be normal. But there are two ways to stand out from the crowd: you can be better than everyone else, or you can be worse.

My opinion is that that would be Jon and Nicki, respectively.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Scratching My Head

Saw this at Winning at Everything:

My first reaction was the same as yours: "Ha ha! Look at the tiny cop car!"

But then I noticed a few things that didn't quite make sense.

It's got one of those super-long European license plates. But the emergency number in EU countries is 112 (or 999 in the UK).

It's not crystal clear, but it looks very much like it says "In God We Trust" on the back (slightly less fuzzy version of the pic at the link above).

So, ya think this thing is real, or is it just someone who likes old 80's bands?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Need Tech Advice

Saw the Puppy Blender's review of the Kindle Fire, and since it's only $200 and I'd like something portable to read e-books on, I'm thinking about it, but there's something weird in the post that I just don't understand.

People keep complaining about the "Gmail app" and the "Netflix app". But they also say that it comes with a web browser.

If it has a web browser, why do you need an app? My desktop & laptops have browsers, and I don't need "apps" for anything.

Somebody educate me, please?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Misleading Headline of the Day

"Waitress Says She Was Fired For Tea Party Bracelet"

Her story: "a couple dining at the restaurant did not like [her "Don't Tread On Me" bracelet] and asked for the manager"

Their story: "Geller was inattentive to diners at two tables"

Outside protesters' story: "a group rallied in front of the Outback Steakhouse, waving American and Gadsden flags and accusing the restaurant of violating her free speech rights"

The real story (based on my experience and knowledge of the hospitality industry): She's 23, so she probably has a 23-year-old's "flexible" sense of punctuality. She's snotty to some of the older waitresses and is generally perceived as not pulling her weight. She's had plenty of other complaints, and the manager has "coached her up" on a number of occasions, hoping she'll finally "get" what it means to be a good waitress.

That night, the customers probably said something a little mean about her bracelet, and she decided to pay them back in spades with lousy service.

The manager decided this failure-of-a-waitress was no longer worth the trouble, and kicked her to the curb.

Morale among the waitstaff jumped 20 points.

Just my guess.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Spot-On Perfect

If you've never seen the opening theme for Reading Rainbow, go ahead and prep yourself with this (it's only 48 seconds).

Now, if you're not very familiar with the music of the Doors (or at least "Back Door Man" and "Peace Frog"), this probably won't work as well for you, but trust me, Fallon gets this one right:

[The Doors Sing "Reading Rainbow" Theme (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)]

I've written my share of parodies, and the hardest part is finding that perfect balance between leaving enough of the original alone for people to enjoy the reference, and changing enough of it to make people get the joke. It's a hard thing to do. This is done about as perfectly as it gets.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

A Spot of Honesty

Via There, I Fixed It:

The title on this can lid is redundant. It's all waste.

And it should all be treated as waste - just thrown into a gigantic hole in the ground and then buried.

Because recycling post-consumer plastic is a huge waste of taxpayer money - there's no free-market demand for it.

Recycling post-consumer paper MAYBE breaks even, so why bother?

Recycling aluminum... well, lets be honest - it'd be more efficient to throw your cans in the gutter and let scavenging hobos make a living off collecting them. It'd not only be a decent act of charity, it's also a profitable and sustainable business model.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Popping Your Balloon

Per Transparency Revolution:
Today is 11/11/11, a day we get only once in a century.

EVERY 6-digit date is only once per century.

For My Beloved Obsessive Compulsives

If you've ever done anything meticulously and beautifully because there's this... thing... in your head that won't let you do it half-way, even though that's how most people do it - this video's for you:

[MBH direct link]

Substitute "blogging" for knife-making, and this is the story of my life since 2003.

Oh, and if you've never been possessed by an insanity for the achievement of self-chosen standards, don't bother watching this video. It will mean less than nothing to you.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Got My Vote

For "Worst Person in the World"

Via FML:
"Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant."

Quote of the Day

From Taki's Magazine, on the topic of the attacks on Herman Cain:
"The NAACP is so quiet you can hear a mouse pee on a cotton ball"

Veterans Day 2011

To those who served: Thank you.

To those currently serving: Thank you.

To the civilians circa 1985-1991: You're welcome.

My suggestions for the best way to thank the troops?

1) Enjoy life in a free country. A gift ain't a gift unless it's enjoyed. Do something fun.

2) Be the kind of American who's worth fighting for.

[Originally posted 2006]

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Why College Isn't Worth It

Graham McMillan was running for student government.

To help people remember his name, he tells them "Graham, like the cracker."

On his campaign signs, he told people to vote for Graham "Cracker" McMillan.

The Neo-Naziesque campus speech/thought police "'recommended that he either remove the signs or cover the word 'cracker' with tape and he opted to cover the word,' a university spokesperson told Fox."

The story continues:
'Cracker' is sometimes used as a pejorative term for white people.

"A student affairs staff member used this as a teaching moment to help Graham understand that use of the word 'cracker' with his name could be perceived as derogatory by some," the university spokesperson said.

So who might be offended by the "Graham Cracker" campaign signs?

The university didn't say and McMillan had no idea.
Weird thing is, McMillan is white, so you'd think it'd be ok, the same way black people are allowed to call each other derogatory names.

Maybe they're just offended because he didn't spell it "cracka"?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Just As Good

It's like if someone gave Joss Whedon fifty bucks instead of fifty million and said "make Avengers":

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #453,301)

I'd still see it.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Could've Used This 40 Years Ago.

I don't know why dad bought us Lucky Charms cereal. I never really liked it, but I ate it because it was there. Those non-marshmallow bits were just atrocious.

What I wouldn't have given back then for a Lucky Charms Cereal Sifter.

Saturday, November 5, 2011


Watching the Cain/Newt debate on C-SPAN.

First lesson, Newt doesn't make any better points than Cain, but he does use about five times as many words to make them.

Second, what they both dance around is that, in the end, we need to get the federal government out of its role as a competitor with the private sector in (among other things) the health insurance industry, the retirement savings industry, and the charity industry.

Both guys talked about ways to reduce the fed's footprint in these industries, but neither mentions complete ouster as a goal.

Guess they feel America's not ready to hear those words.


Got a professional photographer friend whose most recent assignment was photographing a Metallica concert in India.

He sent me some links, and since I assume someone, somewhere on the internet likes Metallica, I'm sharing:


Delhi (concert cancelled due to a riot, but still... pics!)

Video: Bangalore highlights.

Video: Inner Sanctum, who opened for Metallica

Video: Fans in Dehli

Video: Interview with the concert organizer - SO much work went into making this happen

Probably Not What I Was Supposed to Notice

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #93,180)

Guy opens a can with a spoon.

Pretty cool.

But what caught my attention is this:

He is not speaking English (although he does say "brothers and sisters" like an emcee saying "ladies and gentlemen" - not sure what that's about). Yet at the 55 second mark, he pauses for thought, and fills the silence by saying "um".

Which I know is quite common for native speakers of English, but in most foreign-language videos I've seen, the silence-filler of choice is some variation of "aah".

Anyone with foreign language experience, please comment.

(Update: apparently he's from the Philippines, so I guess he's speaking Tagalog.)


Having watched this video at Third World County (I still can't believe this got shown on PBS), I realize it's WAY past time to post this quote on the insanity of the "income inequality is SO unfair" argument:


All Egalitarians are educated publicly up to the age of 21, with no opportunity at this stage to earn enough to save.

All men then work for the same wage till 65, when they retire on full pay; women work for only 20 non-childbearing years, but in those years get equal pay with the same pension rights.

Inheritance is forbidden. But all earners and all pensioners save exactly 10 percent of their incomes, which savings are invested in state bonds yielding 10% compound interest.

This rather high rate perhaps compensates for the absolute embargo on all capital appreciation. The roundness of the figure also simplifies the arithmetic, as do two further stipulations: that the net reproduction rate has been unity for the past 85 years; and that everyone dies on their 85th birthday.

So how much of the privately owned wealth in Egalitaria is owned by the richest 10% of the whole population?

The answer seems to be that the wealthiest 10% of Egalitarians (who by definition are all the men aged from 68 to 84, inclusive) must now own about 74% of the privately owned wealth."

-Antony Flew, "Thinking Straight," p.91

Thursday, November 3, 2011


So Deace FINALLY came clean with Cain's "inappropriate" comment:
"Cain said, 'Darling, do you mind doctoring my tea for me?'" Deace said.

Anyone who's offended by that has NO business working in a job that requires her to deal with the public.

Seriously, darling, put on your big-girl panties and lighten up.

I had a feeling that whatever Cain said was, at worst, one of those things people say when they think the mood is a jovial, "we're all friends here" vibe, which was followed by the sound of a phonograph needle being dragged across a record as some wet blanket snaps a 180 and makes everything go all silent and serious.

Wow. Offended by a Southern guy using a fatherly term of endearment in a casual social situation.


Well, as they say down South, "bless her heart."

Herman Cain Brutally Attacks Reporters

[NewsBusters direct link]

After being asked a simple question, and without provocation, Herman Cain grabbed a reporter by the neck and kept loudly demanding "Who are you?".

Or he might've just been jamming a finger in someone's face and snarling "don't screw around with me!"

Hard to tell, the video's kinda low-quality.

Or maybe it's the CNN news staff.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Hit Piece Revenge

So a right-wing talk show host is accusing Herman Cain of saying "awkward/inappropriate things" to his staff, but refuses to say what those things were.

However, he does say:
"I put safeguards around me and hold myself accountable to my wife and other men in my life. Especially since I have very talented employees that happen to be women. I go out of my way to treat them like my sisters. For example, I wouldn't tell them or any other woman I am not married to nor related to how pretty she is."

So, if I'm taking this out of context correctly, Steve Deace is constantly telling his sister how hot she looks.

Man, that's just creepy.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A Disease For Your Cure

That's our President, who thinks he can fix drug shortages with a wave of his magic autopen.

And of what does this bit of abracadabra consist?:
Under the new orders, the FDA will add six people to the five who are assigned to its drug shortage program. The agency will also add two staff members to its Center for Evaluation and Research.

So, let's see if I follow this logic...

Problem: life-saving drugs not profitable to manufacture, leading to shortages.

Solution: hire more government bureaucrats.


How about the slightly more obvious solution of letting drug prices rise up to a profitable level for the drug companies?

Oh no, no, no! Can't let that happen!

Part of this executive order also aims to prevent "price gouging".

Where "gouging", presumably, means "making enough profit on a drug to make it worth producing."

So, I feel compelled to ask at this point:

Is Obama really that pig-ignorant of basic economics, or is he doing this on purpose because he's a psychopathic tyrant who just wants to watch the country burn?

Monday, October 31, 2011

Nanny State Wannabe

From AZ Central, some busybody's swabbing the local McDonald's Playland:
when the play area was still dirty days later, she collected samples and paid to have them tested by a local laboratory. She was told they contained pathogens found in fecal material and mucus.

Weeks later and in combination with her summer vacations, Carr Jordan's filth-swabbing and bacteria-testing took her across six states and cost her about $5,000 for lab tests. She was the subject of articles and television shows, and she formed a non-profit corporation with a website called Kids Play Safe to spread the word and seek donations and grants for the tests and lobbying efforts.

Her goal is more government oversight of restaurant play areas, and she said she is frustrated by the lack of response when she shows agencies her lab results.

Kids drip from both ends? What a surprise. I had no idea.

So... why doesn't she get her own restaurant and create the cleanest play area in the world? I'm sure people would flock to it.

Or maybe they wouldn't, since most parents just say "whatever, this is why kids have immune systems."

Whatever the reason, there's no excuse for trying to bring the government's hammer down on a business you can simply choose not to patronize.

Meanwhile, nosy, go get a blog and complain about your bugaboos on the internet like a normal person.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Die Broke

When I was little, the neighbor kids built a home-made go-cart. Basically out of 2x4's, plywood, and a lawnmower engine. High cool factor (because it was the 70's, the internet didn't exist, and we were all bored), but low practicality.

40 years later, actual grown-ups are offering a vehicle with the same low practicality, but with a $10,500 price tag..

Really? 'Cuz I can buy 5 good used full-size sedans for that price and still have enough left over to buy the parts for a go-cart, plus pay a kid with a strong back to assemble it for me.

I wish these people a slow, painful bankruptcy.

Can't Let This One Slide

As a matter of state pride, I simply must insist that Wisconsin should be labeled "Serial Killers."

Candidate's Favorite Movies

The Washington Times has the list, and frankly, I find it disconcerting, at best.

Now, I'm gonna start off by giving Herman Cain a pass. He said "The Godfather", which was obviously just a reference to his days working for Godfather's Pizza. We don't really know what his favorite movie is. All we've done is confirm that he has a sense of humor, and we already know that.

Newt says "Casablanca". Really? That movie is horrid. I saw it once, and it's really just standard 40's fare. The dialogue is labored, the acting is wooden and the hero ends up with a cowardly Frenchman instead of the girl. Just garbage.

Bachmann says "Braveheart". I just watched this recently. What did she love? The gratuitous violence and gore? The ending torture scene? The painfully slow pacing? The hero dies. Not a good movie. She also picked "Saving Private Ryan", where a bunch of good men die (in a graphically gory way) to save one semi-good man. Not worth it. And I suspect Bachmann isn't either.

Santorum said "Field of Dreams". Really? I'm guessing this means Santorum has MAJOR daddy issues.

Paul didn't even pick one. Nuff said.

Gary Johnson: Dr. Zhivago. Long, boring, tragic, Russian. I wanted to kill myself after watching this movie. I suspect a Johnson presidency would have a similar effect.

Perry picked "Immortal Beloved". Let's see... the most brilliant composer Germany has ever produced, and this film twiddles on about his love life. So... Perry's good at missing the big picture? Is that what I'm to gather from this?

Mitt? He say "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" Really? A movie where a more-or-less random succession of events happens to a band of losers?

Then there's Obama: "Casablanca" (see above), Lawrence of Arabia (Western man goes native in a world of savage Muslims - oh please!), The Godfather (murderous mobsters?), and "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" - the main character is a pedophile who gets smothered after he has a lobotomy. One of the worst movies ever filmed.

Personally, I want my future President to pick "The Princess Bride." It's perfectly quotable, the wronged man gets revenge, and the hero gets the girl. Movies just don't get any better than that.

Seriously, if your favorite movie doesn't include the good guy winning, you probably don't have the right attitude to rule the greatest nation on earth.

Pipe-dream-wise, I'd like to hear "The Fountainhead" - hero wins AND gets the girl. Now THAT'S an all-American movie.

I'd settle for Cyrano de Bergerac with Jose Ferrrar - message: NEVER compromise your principles.

Or even "Galaxy Quest": "Never give up, never surrender."

Heck, that should be printed on our currency.

Friday, October 28, 2011

This Is Not Okay!

A couple of my long-lost Milk-Carton Blogkids saw my post about the people offended by "insensitive" Halloween costumes and made their own poster.

I think this makes the point better than I ever could.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Apple... Still Evil

Apple patented touching a touchscreen.

Now they're suing people over it.

And I thought the RIAA were soulless junkwagons.

[SBA day 69]

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Michael Barone has it exactly wrong:
But I think Cain's current lead is evidence of a larger and longer-range trend that is both heartening and disturbing.

I call it the revolt against the experts.

It has been going on for a long time. In the years after World War II, when pollsters first started testing confidence in leaders and institutions, midcentury Americans expressed great confidence and respect for experts and those at the head of large organizations.
Confidence in leaders and respect for expertise fell in the years that gave us the Vietnam War, Watergate and stagflation. They're at a low point now, after years in which experts seemed to fail in Iraq and at home.


I like Herman Cain because he IS an expert.

At leadership.

At problem-solving.

At the free market.

What I'm revolting against is the establishment-class of meddling nanny-statists.

Reality Check

Some people are offended by "insensitive" Halloween costumes.

News flash: this is not who ANYBODY is. That's why it's called a "costume".

Thin-skinned wet-blanket morons.

[SBA day 68]

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What Double Standard?

On Martin Luther King Day, serving chicken & waffles was considered racist:

Now, Obama stops by Roscoe's House of Chicken & Waffles for wings, waffles, & fries, and not even a twitch of the ol' journalistic eyebrow.

What's up with that?

Good thing he didn't have the cornbread.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Yes, I'm a Small, Petty Man

Much like Tribbles, babies don't seem to like Klingons, either.

[Jokeroo direct link]

Hat tip: Spockgirl

Off the Milk Carton

Bloggrandaughter Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View has started blogging again.

And yeah, as you can see by her first post, she's a traditionalist.

Back to the blogroll with ye.

PS By the way, sweetie, ditch the Echo comments NOW. Sorry to say, but there's no such thing as a decent third-party comment system anymore. However, Blogger's native comments have improved over the years and are now adequate.

Instructions here.

[SBA day 65]

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Just Figured This Out

Now I know why I like Herman Cain so much.

Watch him in ANY interview (like this rather contentious one with Piers Morgan, or this VERY contentious one with Lawrence O'Donnell): He doesn't stammer. He doesn't stutter. He doesn't say "uh". He doesn't say "um". There is silence between his words, and he's not afraid to let that silence hang while he pauses for thought. He is comfortable with this.

During that silence, you can tell he's choosing his words very carefully and very deliberately.

Then again, most politicians do, so, no big deal, right?

Here's the difference: every other politician I've ever seen chooses his words carefully to avoid saying something concrete that he can be held to later.

Herman Cain chooses his word carefully so that he's sure that what he's saying most accurately represents what he thinks.

Which, in a way, is also "covering his rear", because he believes everything he says, and if you try to call him out on it, he will defend it because he believes that, to the best of his ability to use language at the time, under those circumstances, what he said was true and accurate.

Most politicians strive for ambiguity. Herman Cain strives for precision.

[SBA day 64]

Friday, October 21, 2011

Opportunity Knocking

They're chasing a hawk with a nail through its head.
Red-tailed hawks are protected under federal law and harming one is punishable by up to six months in jail and a $15,000 fine, according to Elise Traub, outreach and policy manager for the Humane Society of the United States' Wildlife Abuse Campaign.

Personally, I say that any hawk that's dumb enough to get that close to a nailgun needs to be taken out of the gene pool before its stupidity infects the entire species, but that's not the point.

My question is, who gets that $15,000, and what does it get spent on? Because "you injured an animal that belongs to no one, so gimme money" sounds like a pretty sweet protection racket to get into. I'm tired of shaking down liquor stores, and I'm looking to branch out into new territory.

[SBA day 63]

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Ding! Ding! Ding!

We have a winner!
I'm taking bets: how long until some liberal mentions "minstrel shows" or suggests that [Herman Cain] should've done it in blackface?

From the New York Times:
"It makes the hair on my neck stand up," said Ulli K. Ryder, a visiting scholar at the Center for the Study of Race and Ethnicity in America at Brown University. "The larger issue that a lot of people have, and I certainly have, is that he uses a certain kind of minstrelsy to play to white audiences. Referencing negative stereotypes in order to get heard to a white audience in the 21st century is really a problem."

Nice one, you narrow-minded, racist piglicker.

Who had 3 days in the pool?

[SBA day 61]

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Compare and Contrast

"I think it’s time for others to step up" - Hillary Clinton, not running for VP.

"Can't someone else do it?" - Homer Simpson, running for Sanitation Commissioner.
An Open Letter to President Obama

Dear Mr. President

Buy short-sleeve shirts, because you look like a pandering fool with that "no tie, roll up the sleeves on my dress shirt" look.

You're not fooling anyone, because we know darn well that those soft, manicured hands of yours have never done an honest days' labor in your life.

[SBA day 60]

Monday, October 17, 2011

Didn't See That One Coming

Now that's creative thinking:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,105,641)

[SBA day 59]

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Herman Cain in a Nutshell

From the Washington Times:
"To me he represents what Martin Luther King was talking about when he talked about his dream," Reginald Tooley, a 49-year-old physical therapist from Memphis, said. "With hard work and self-reliance you can do anything you want."


On a another subject, Earlier in the story, they mention that Cain sang "To Dream the Impossible Dream" to kill time when his sound system went out.

I'm taking bets: how long until some liberal mentions "minstrel shows" or suggests that he should've done it in blackface?

The Perfect Non-Sequitur

I can't believe people still say stupid things like this with a straight face:
with hundreds of millions of people living in poverty and going to sleep hungry all over the world, you’d think that others would forgo going for ridiculously expensive goods that are pretty much not worth the dollars they’re sold for.
To Hazel, the writer of this noisome dreck: drop out of school. Whoever's paying for your education is getting cheated horribly.

Wealth does not cause poverty.

[SBA day 58]

Saturday, October 15, 2011


Not sure how I feel about this one. I hate rap music, but I think find the rich, suburban, upper-class African-American take on it to be quite cleverly parodifying:

[YouTube direct link]

[SBA day 57]

Friday, October 14, 2011

Just Kidding Isn't an Excuse

Guy signs up at Catawba Valley Community College, gets credit card spam emails, and posts this on the CVCC's Facebook:
"Did anyone else get a bunch of credit card spam in their CVCC inbox today? So, did CVCC sell our names to banks, or did Higher One? I think we should register CVCC's address with every porn site known to man. Anyone know any good viruses to send them?"

Gets suspended for 2 semesters and banned from campus.

Now, the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) defends him thusly:
"The school has some explaining to do as to why (they) are so sensitive to what was honestly not a particularly harsh criticism."

Dude, it wasn't the criticism. It was the threat. And the fact that it was posted publicly. He got what he deserved.

People need to learn that the internet isn't your living room. It's a billboard in Times Square. Choose your words appropriately and live with the consequences.

Oh, and there should be a "delete" key somewhere in your email interface. Very effective at getting rid of spam.

[SBA day 56]

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


From Your Black Politics:
"Herman Cain has become, in many ways, the perfect racist... The truth is that racism is typically most effective when you put a black face on it"
Yes, I'm sure the Atlanta chapter of the Klan would be proud to have Cain don a sheet at their next rally.

It's just sad to see an adult who views every single event in life through the warped and clouded lens of race.

[SBA day 54]

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

So What?

From Hot Air:
Since 1959, no Republican has gone on to win the presidency without earning at least 40 percent of the primary vote at this point in the race. Our top tier, meanwhile, is chronically mired in the mid to low 20s


First of all, we're in uncharted territory here. Obama is a disaster of unprecedented proportions.

Second, I recall that so many people thought the Dems were doomed in 2008, what with Hillary & Barack going at it hammer & tongs late into the summer, while the got-this-one-locked Republicans were smugly sitting safely on top of the ol' McCain juggernaut.

Statistics and precedent mean nothing next year.

Once the Big 3 finish duking it out, it'll be nothing but sunshine, smiles, and a united front going into November. Mark my words.

Monday, October 10, 2011

It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature

From The Hill:
"Herman Cain is definitely not one of the 'good' kind" of African-Americans, McWhorter wrote. "He's darker, less educated and less courtly than Obama, and he couldn't sound 'not black' at gunpoint. And yet he is currently a big hit among precisely the kind of white people who didn't vote for Obama. ... It would seem that his being black doesn't bother them much."
Mighty white of ya, McWhorter.

Fact is, I like Herman Cain BECAUSE he's black.

Or, more specifically, because he has dark skin.

It's like this - when someone I admire has a distinctive feature, I tend to consider it pleasant.

I liked Rollie Fingers' goofy handlebar moustache.

I liked Indiana Jones's fedora.

I would NOT like these features on some scummy, hipster, Occupy Wall Street protester.

You put a cowboy hat on Cain, I'd wanna buy the guy a beer.

Put a cowboy hat on Obama, I'd wanna dump that same beer on his head.

The book makes the cover.

What Facebookers Will Never Be

This is why I blog: to speak crazy to power:
Crazy people are constantly in conflict: with themselves, with the world, with the voices in their heads. Want to know why no one reads your blog? You’re boring. You’re not in conflict, or you have no ability to articulate your conflict, or, more likely, you’re unwilling to share your conflict. That makes you boring and cowardly. A blog isn’t something you write when you feel like it. It’s the digital representation of who you really are. No one wants to read a blog by a boring coward. Because no one wants to be a boring coward.


People like to say the internet makes us stupider. It doesn’t. It makes us all writers. What people chronically fail to understand is that writing is entertainment. We are 21st century entertainers, endlessly tap dancing for an audience we can neither see nor touch, all in hopes of getting something that used to sound like applause.

Only crazy people are willing to play this game, to keep dancing, praying for a fleeting moment they will be seen as they truly are, warped minds and all.
I've written some stuff in my life that made my hand tremble before I hit "post", but I ask my two questions before I make that fateful click:

1) Do I believe this is true?

2) Am I willing to stand behind and defend this truth?

I may have written things that have been of questionable taste, prudence, or humor, but I swear I will never toss a steaming load of overboiled cabbage onto the screen and claim it's ice cream.

[SBA day 52]

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Living Embodiment of the Second Amendment

I've mentioned before that I'm going through the old A-Team series on Netflix, and rather enjoying it.

At one point, I found myself wondering, "what are those funny grease-gun looking rifles they keep in the back of the van?".

While finding my answer (Ruger Mini 14 Stainless version with Folding stock), I stumbled across a page that lists every single gun used in the series.

Makes me appreciate how lucky I am to live in a country where this many types of guns exist, especially since this is only a tiny representative sample of the whole of the firearms industry.

God bless America, with extra God-blessing kudos to the 2nd Amendment.

The Movies Lied

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #2,887,242)

The most fascinating thing to me about this video is not that the CEO of a bullet-proof glass company sat behind his bullet-proof glass while an employee shot at him, it's the fact that EVERY Hollywood scene that included bullet-proof glass that I've ever seen depicts it happening with exactly zero damage to the glass.

I've never felt so betrayed.

Weird, But I Like It

I'm a fan of art that looks like stuff.

I never thought that "stacking up slabs of rock" would qualify as a medium that met this standard.

I thought wrong.

Meet Stephen Kettle, who stacks pieces of slate.

For example:

For Those Without Rubber Bands

I used to just throw all my cables, cords, adapters, and plugs into a drawer and call it good. Then at some point I got sick of rooting through the drawer like a meth-addled badger trying to find what I was looking for, and looped the things up all pretty and secured them with rubber bands.

The cardboard tube method looks to be equally effective, assuming you have the patience to collect enough cardboard tubes beforehand:

Via There, I Fixed It:

And I Thought Czech Disco Was a Mind-Blower

Inspired by this FML post, I present Heavy Metal ABBA:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #70,165)

Title reference link

Homemade Mayonnaise

I watched this video and all I could think was... "or I could just buy a jar of Miracle Whip":

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #29,408)

[SBA day 50]

Friday, October 7, 2011

Pre-Pubescent Metallica

Ok, it's pretty much just a novelty act, but I'm very impressed by the way the girl holds her own playing a guitar that's almost bigger than she is (check the lead break about the 2:30 mark)

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #867,271)

The vocalist is just plain awful, though.

[SBA day 49]

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Just Me

So... I'm the only person on earth who hated Steve Jobs and every last substandard product Apple has made in the last 35 years?

UPDATE: Not just me. 10 reasons to hate Apple. I'm mostly all about 4, 6, 8, 9 & 10

More hate here.

UPDATE 2: Ok, just one more. He thought it was a good idea to make a phone - one of the most droppable objects ever invented by man - out of glass.

[SBA day 48]

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Construction Porn?

Yeah, they talk about it here. And there's some recommendations in the comments.

You want the real thing, though? Get your hands on the long-out-of-print "Calumet K" (currently avaiable free for Kindle, which is currently available free for PC). Construction-porn-wise, it makes "How It's Made" look like a Lego commerical.

If You Like Queen, You'll Like This

Growing up, I could always recognize Queen on the radio. Freddie Mercury has a very distinctive voice, and he was a very talented vocalist. You don't hear a lot of rock & rollers with that sort of operatic vibrato.

Point is, I know my Queen. So when I tell you that the difference between the studio recording and what this guy does is irrelevant, you can take that to the bank:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3,964,999)

For comparison.

[SBA day 47]

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Niggerheads the Media Doesn't Care About - UPDATED

Well, some folks are all up in arms about a rock that's had the word "Niggerhead" painted over for decades, and they're so upset that they won't even show a picture of it.

If it were a WMD, they'd be saying it never existed.

Still, I don't see them getting their panties bunched about:

Niggerhead tar soap

Niggerhead golf tees

Niggerhead oysters

Niggerhead tobacco

Niggerhead shrimp

Niggerhead stove polish

Or the slightly more famous Niggerhead rock.

Haven't heard a peep about Black-Eyed Susans, either. Or brazil nuts, for that matter.

My point?

Only that the term was once quite common, and Rick Perry didn't make it up on his own just to be racist. A point the media seems intent on omitting.

Context matters.

UPDATE 10-4-11 7PM:

As Jon Stewart points out, there are still a lot of places in America called Niggerhead.

[SBA day 46]

Monday, October 3, 2011

Thanks, Bill!

Bill Clinton just put together a winning campaign strategy for Republicans in 2012:
a simple narrative — that government is always the problem, there is no such thing as a good tax or a bad tax cut, there’s no such thing as a good program or a bad program cut, no such thing as a good regulation or a bad deregulation

I pray the GOP has the brains to hug it and pet it and squeeze it and call it George.

[SBA day 45]

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Public Service Annoucement

Via Demotivational:

Yes, I'm aware of the irony involved in posting this at Blogger, but at least here they treat you more like a fleece animal than a food animal.

I can stand being sheared. Not so interested in being slaughtered.

[SBA day 44]

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Michelle's Target Trip

So... the multi-millionaire pampered-princess First Lady had to PERSONALLY run out to Target to pick up... Lysol disinfecting wipes and Febreeze?

Apparently Consuela, the illegal Guatemalan White House maid, was too paranoid about getting swept up by Immigration to keep the cleaning supply closet properly stocked.

No... seriously... we're expected to believe Michelle does her own cleaning? Really?

Anyway, then there's her outfit.

Look, the only thing I know about women's outfits (which my wife had to teach me) is that to "coordinate", one article of clothing has to have at least one splotch of color that EXACTLY matches the color of another article. But if the splotch only ALMOST matches the color, then it "clashes", and you shouldn't wear it.

Her t-shirt is lime green. The closest her blouse gets is a yellow flower with dark green leaves. That's an almost. That's a clash. And I have no idea what in the world she thinks that purse matches. So we'll just chalk this up as yet another in a long line of Michelle Antoinette's fashion failures.

Peeling Garlic Made Easy

Don't know how many people use actual garlic cloves (I'm a big fan of the powdered, myself), but if you do, this tip on how to peel the ticklish scamps in 10 seconds might come in handy:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #185,038)

[SBA day 43]

Friday, September 30, 2011

Well, That's What I Was Told About Obama in 2008

So how come the liberals aren't telling me that if I don't support Herman Cain, it means I'm a racist?

And how come they're not saying that the Romney supporters out there calling Cain "unelectable" are using "racist code words"?

Full disclosure: yeah, I'm in the Honkies for Herman club. Cainiacs, Unite! - Seriously, I'm a big fan of the guy.

PS Janeane Garofalo hasn't had a paying comedy gig in years. I think it's because clubs are looking to book funny-crazy, not bag-lady-crazy.

[SBA day 42 ]

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Presidential Pandering

Here's what Obama said during his "back to school speech":

"Teachers are the men and women who might be working harder than anybody."

Might be, but they're not.

No offense, teachers. Yes, you're doing stuff all day for money. Yes, you're tired at the end of the day.

But working HARD?


HARD work is the stuff you see featured on a show narrated by Mike Rowe.

Put it this way: if your work doesn't involve you having to wear some sort of safety gear, or if you don't end the day reeking of the insides of some sort of food-animal, your job ain't HARD.

Full disclosure - I ain't worked hard since I wore steel-toed boots and earplugs in the Navy, and that gig ended in 1991.

[SBA day 41]

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Probably Just Me

Does anybody else just want to hold Ashton Kutcher down and give him a haircut?

[SBA day 40]

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Been There, Played That

How quaint. A video game that lets you live on $9 an hour by making "tough choices.":
Most Americans know the facts about low-wage work, but many have been lucky enough to avoid actually having to live on $8 or $9 an hour.

A computer game called Spent gives you the opportunity to see what it would be like to walk in a poor person’s shoes.
Yeah, well, I'm not a stranger to this, so let's play.

"Would you like to be a server, a warehouse worker or a temp?"

Well, I chose pizza delivery. Say goodbye to your evenings and weekends if you want to make $9 an hour.

"Should you pay to get your pet medical care, or let the animal suffer?"

Get a male cat (cheaper to fix) and keep him indoors his whole life. Pricey medical problem = dirt nap. Then get a new cat.

"Should you go to the dentist or suffer yourself and save some bucks?"

Brushing and flossing are your friend. Do it regularly.

"Should you let your child and a friend get ice cream, or do you need that $5 for bills?"

Child can save up his meager allowance and buy his own ice cream.

Other choices - drive a rusty old car and have your mechanically adept brother help you keep it running.

Eat a lot of Ramen.

Stay home and watch TV or play video games for entertainment.

Yeah, it's not necessarily a lot of fun to have to think about money before every decision, but no one ever said life was always fun or easy.

Oh, and if you get any kind of "surprise windfall" lump of money, sock it away instead of living large.

Finally, a credit card is for convenience, not credit.

[SBA day 39]

Monday, September 26, 2011

Wrong Solution

Complaineth the President:
And let's reform [taxes] based on a very simple principle: Warren Buffett's secretary should not be paying a higher tax rate than Warren Buffett. It's a simple principle.

Ok, so why doesn't Obama take the obvious path of cutting Warren Buffett's secretary's taxes?

I swear, Obama's answer to desegregating the South would've been to ban drinking fountains completely and not let ANYBODY ride in the front of the bus.

[SBA day 38]

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Because, Apparently, iPeople Will Buy Anything White

This product costs $50 and will "charge your iPhone" using 4 AA batteries - although it's really just a battery-powered USB port and is completely unrelated to the iPhone.

Or, for the same price, you can get:

2 2-AA powered USB chargers:

A 2-port USB car charger:

And even throw in a combo usb/battery charger that lets you charge batteries off a USB plug:

For just over half the price.

Apparently hipsters are either stupider than I thought, or they think it's cool to waste money "ironically."

[SBA day 37]

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Wrong Focus

Ok, so there's this "Fast and Furious" scandal where people are upset that the government sold guns to murderous Mexican drug cartels who shot people with them.

Am I the only one who thinks that the problem here is that murderous Mexican drug cartels are shooting people?

Update: Looks like the sales the ATF made were illegal and would've landed a legitimate gun dealer in prison. Ok, we can get worked up about that, too.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Better Than Star Wars 1-3 Put Together

If for no other reason than it's 100% Jar-Jar-free.

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,898,682)

Also, at no point does the Sith Kitten shout, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

[SBA day 34]

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

How Much Does Warren Buffet's Secretary Make?

Here's what I've been told:

Warren Buffet pays a 17% income tax rate, and his secretary pays 33%

Which is really weird, because there's no 17% bracket, and capital gains is taxed at 15%, but we'll just roll with it.

Now, if it's true that Secretary is paying 33%, that means her annual income is upwards of $175,000 a year.

Hell, they don't even pay Congressmen that much.

Thing is, if she opted for a more frugal lifestyle and made some disciplined investment choices, Secretary could sock away enough to start living off her capital gains in about 10 years.

Then she could retire and enjoy that 17% lifestyle.

UPDATE: Forbes jumps into the guessing game with "$200,000 to $500,000", but their numbers are more of a stunt just to squeeze Google juice out of a headline, rather than any sort of serious investigation into the matter.

[SBA day 32]

Monday, September 19, 2011

While You're At It, Make Pluto a Planet Again

Inconvenient scientific truth of the day. Bet you have this repressed within an hour. I know *I* certainly plan to:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #208,571)

[SBA day 31]

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Not Racism

Via Winning at Everything:

What caught my eye was that this post was tagged (among other things) as "subtle racism".

Nope. It's not.

The dictionary says racism is "a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement."

The Life cereal folks aren't going by belief. They're basing their packaging designs on market research and sales data.

I haven't seen this data, but here's what I infer:

Black people are more likely to buy sugary cereals.

I don't know if that's true, but I assume it is, because corporations tend to pursue profitable marketing strategies, and marketing strategies based on bad data usually aren't profitable.

BDay Recap

Great birthday.

First, I got those Soylent Green crackers I wanted. They basically taste like saltines with a slight vegetable flavor from the spinach.

Second, I got a talking Bender figure.

10 minutes out of the box, the mechanical ne'er-do-well was already stealing my collection of polished rocks:

Oh, and a gray Planet Express T-shirt (I already have the black one, which - although dear to my heart - picks up white cat fur like a lint brush).

PS: I updated this post with a picture, in case you want to see Elmo post-target-practice

[SBA day 30]

Saturday, September 17, 2011

How to Clean 78s and 33s

Thought I'd pass this along.

For your LP's, you can use wood glue:
Now, I didn’t think that this was some sort of troll post that was trying to get people to destroy their old records, but I didn’t fully expect it to work well either. My prediction was that the record would look new and shiny, but essentially sound the same. Boy was I ever wrong.

It sounded like a completely new record; there are no more snaps, crackles or pops! To make sure my ears weren’t fooling me, I flipped to the other side which I hadn’t cleaned. Sure enough, it sounded terrible. So with just a few dabs of cheap wood glue, my old record was given new life. Fix approved.

Yes, that sounds weird, but he's got before & after audio clips proving that it works.

You can't use this method on 78s, though, because they're not made of vinyl. For these, use a mixture of dish soap and water and a very fine bristle brush.