Saturday, April 2, 2011

Off On A Tangent

Guys gets beat up by a home invader, and his young beauty-queen wife shoots the bad guy dead with a pink pistol.

To quote Fred Thompson, "that guy's probably better off dead than having to tell that story in prison."

Hilarious, yes, but I'm actually eyeballing this line where Mr. Got-Beat-Up accuses the pizza guy of conspiracy to commit... well, whatever the invader guy would've been charged with, had he lived:
"We live in a very prominent area and my fiancee wears a $60,000 engagement ring," he said. "The pizza man knew we had money because sometimes we needed change for a $100 bill when he came to deliver pizza."

He's 42, she's 25. She's a trophy-wife. He's status-obsessed. And it's a safe assumption this drives him to act like a jerk. A LOT.

Brags about the $60,000 ring - yeah, like pizza guys know diamonds.

And "sometimes" you needed change for a $100? Dude, pizza guys don't carry that kind of change. As a former pizza guy, I know this. I also know he's told you this every time you were thoughtless enough to poke a $100 bill his way. And yet you admit that you've done this to him more than once?

Buddy, that wasn't a home invader beating you up, that was karma.


  1. Well, at least now every dirt bag in town knows she wears at least 60k worth of bling when she heads out the door. Hope she has Mr. Pinky with at all times.

  2. "'She was not a good shot at the range,' he quipped."

    Really? Woman saves his sorry ass and he makes comments like that? She was good enough to hit the intruder several times. Harv's right, this guy's a douche.

  3. Heh! I saw this article featured on another blog several days ago. I read the article, and commented that when I first saw the guy I knew he was a creep. And, reading the article I found that he was an abortionist.

    Nyuk...I just read it again, and he's an "arborist." Boy, do I feel stupid. Again.