Sunday, June 26, 2011

Helpful Advice for Loving Daughters

Via FML:
"Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later."
Your problem, young lady, is that you confused your father with your mother. With daddy, it is NOT the thought that counts, it's the utility.

Next Father's Day, try this:

Buy the biggest roll you can find of his favorite brand of duct tape (yes, duct tape has brands, and some are better than others - check the label inside the core of a roll he's currently using).

Take the annoying plastic wrapping off it. It's just an impediment to immediate use (trust me, when you've reached for the duct tape, it's not because you want to use it later).

On both sides of the roll, write "From [your name]" with a black Sharpie (preferably in smallish - but legible - letters near the core)

Hold the roll behind your back, walk up to him, wait for him to look at you with his full attention, then hold the roll out and say "Happy Father's Day".

He'll say "thanks", then throw it in a drawer and forget about it.

Until he needs duct tape, at which time he will pull it out and be reminded who the best daughter in the world is. And he will keep being reminded every time he uses it.

Um... Yeah, I Guess That WOULD Work

My greatest pleasure in life is seeing someone solve a problem in a way that I never would have thought of, but yet it makes perfect sense afterwards.

I totally didn't see this one coming:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #814,544)

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I'm Team Dunkin

When I look at this picture, I can't help thinking that having them taste more like a cat's nether regions would actually be an improvement for Krispy Kreme donuts.


Now that it's legal in several states for gays to get married, should we expect a "purity" movement to arise, where young gays shun sexual activity until their wedding day and arrive in full virginity upon their nuptual beds?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

More Proof Twitter Stinks

You can't start a Tweet with just the letter "m".

Which is annoying when you want to make fun of M Obama.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

OO! Hypnotic!

Honestly, I didn't care all that much for the music on this one, but the visuals were quite intriguing:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer 74,954)

Even more intriguing, after you finish watching it, take a look at this screenshot:

I swear it didn't stop moving for a solid minute.