Sunday, June 26, 2011

Helpful Advice for Loving Daughters

Via FML:
"Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later."
Your problem, young lady, is that you confused your father with your mother. With daddy, it is NOT the thought that counts, it's the utility.

Next Father's Day, try this:

Buy the biggest roll you can find of his favorite brand of duct tape (yes, duct tape has brands, and some are better than others - check the label inside the core of a roll he's currently using).

Take the annoying plastic wrapping off it. It's just an impediment to immediate use (trust me, when you've reached for the duct tape, it's not because you want to use it later).

On both sides of the roll, write "From [your name]" with a black Sharpie (preferably in smallish - but legible - letters near the core)

Hold the roll behind your back, walk up to him, wait for him to look at you with his full attention, then hold the roll out and say "Happy Father's Day".

He'll say "thanks", then throw it in a drawer and forget about it.

Until he needs duct tape, at which time he will pull it out and be reminded who the best daughter in the world is. And he will keep being reminded every time he uses it.


  1. That is a damn good idea, Harvey!

  2. I do believe you've hit upon something there, Harvey.

  3. Ahhh... I know what the boys should get their dad this year instead of another video game!!!

  4. I got my brother duct tape for Christmas this year, and some black electrical tape. I figured he can always use them, being a farmer and all. I almost bought him a 9/16" wrench. It's a family joke. Our Dad kept a 1 lb. Folgers (yes only folgers) coffee can in each of his farm implements and vehicles and everyone of them had a 9/16" wrench, WD 40 and a pair of pliers. God forbid one of those wrenches was ever not in the can...