Evolution of the Hipster

This explains so much:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #402,175)

[SBA day 12]

Razor Follow Up

Having now tried the arm-strop technique, I can report that - while I wouldn't call the results "like new" - there's a definite and noticable improvement in both the 3 and 5 blade models I tested.

[SBA day 11]

Of Razors & Leather

Jim of Parkway Rest Stop shared this with me:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #325,553)

That's right, run your razor backwards along your arm.

Jim & a lot of the commenters on the video swear by it.

Now, it kinda makes sense, since any serial killer (and I'm a Wisconsin boy, home of some of the best) will tell you that human skin makes just as good a leather as cow skin, so I'm not really surprised that this technique would work.

But it did make me wonder why the hell leather would sharpen steel. I mean, I usually use a stone on my knife.

A good Googling session explained why.

A razor isn't a knife.

The edge of a knife is thick. It gets bent and has to be smoothed out by grinding it flat.

The edge of a razor is thin, and it gets folded. Rubbing it on leather flattens it out like rubbing your hand on a piece of wrinkly aluminum foil.

Or to paraphrase someone on the internet that I didn't bookmark: "you can cut yourself with the edge of a piece of paper. If you fold the paper, you won't be able to cut yourself with the folded edge."

Two other notes on the topic - Jim said that having a hairy arm doesn't affect the usefulness of the technique, and one of the video commenters also suggested running the razor backward along denim blue jeans.

Offhand, I'm thinking any soft, smooth, flat surface would work. Outside surface of a roll of duct tape, maybe?

This matter requires some serious scientific experimentation. Anyone got a bored teenager handy?

[SBA day 10]

Quote of the Day

From Steyn by way of Cold Fury:

They'd "do anything to get more money." Anything, that is, except get up in the morning, put on a clean shirt, and go off to do a day's work.

Which reminds me of something I told my nephew once. That businesses will do anything to make a profit, and for the very vast majority of commercial enterprises, that "anything" consists of making a thousand promises a day to customers, employees, suppliers, and delivery people, and keeping every damn last one of them, or apologizing and making up for the ones they break due to human error or human stupidity.

Having worked in customer service (and in a way, don't we all?), I know I spent my day making promises and keeping them. That's how profitable, successful companies stay that way, year after year.

The ones that don't - go bankrupt.

Yeah, those capitalists are a ruthless bunch.

When was the last time your government kept a promise to you? When was the last time they apologized for breaking a promise?

Exit question: would you shop at a store that bait-and-switched as much as this administration?

Anyone Else Having Problems or Solutions?

From Blogson Shakey Pete:

Say, you got any ideas why Blogspot won't let me post on my blog? And here I have to use something besides my Blogger ID, it says that I must allow cookies. Hell, I allow cookies, milk, brownies and girls with low morals. I have my whole blogging world open and yet whenever I hit "Publish" it just sits there like a Democrat with civil service protection.

Thoughts?

Quick Question

Is it legal in Wisconsin to mow your lawn with a napalm strike?

Don't get me wrong, I admire the enthusiasm of the grass's growth rate, but I'm tired of thinking, "Huh. Needs mowing again," every time I look out the window.

[SBA day 9]

Quote of the Day: Sweet, Sweet Internet

From Violins & Starships:

Life without the Internet or with limited access is primitive. I know some people would say I'm "addicted". Okay, so I'm addicted. I'm also addicted to electricity and running water.

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

Lukie has her preferences, I have mine.

Coffee is, of course, a matter of personal taste, but my happiness lies in the following:

Dunkin Donuts brand ground coffee (it comes in 12 oz bags now, probably at your grocery store).

A Melitta MEX1B espresso machine (35 bucks at my local Shopko a few years back - nice machine, but it clogs with hard water scale pretty quick. Need to run vinegar through it at least once a month or it stops working).

Heavy cream.

A little bit of Bellagio Cherry Flavored Sipping Chocolate Dessert Beverage

Takes the edge off my cranky mornings.

Can't Help Noticing the Resemblance

From I Can Has Cheezburger:



Ignore the caption. Be awed instead by that fact that Syndrome lives:



[SBA day 8]

See? My Hands Aren't Even Shakakakakaking Any More

Got my 1 week SBA chip:

Why Does the 2012 Election Matter?

Because the Ponzi scheme of government is running out of new suckers to fleece to keep paying the old suckers.

We're out of time, and there's no place to escape to if this nation falls.

Mark Steyn puts it best:

"This, America, is the hill to die on. If you cannot defend and save a half millennium of western liberty and progress and prosperity on this hill, there is no other hill to die on anywhere on the planet."

Quote of the Day

PJM:

Jackson admits that it is absolutely true; she is compensating for something. In fact, she is compensating for a number of things: For her kids who are too small to defend themselves, for being a sedentary middle-aged woman, for wanting a decent back-up plan if luck doesn't work, and for not "wanting to be the dead victim of the next murder the local police will be investigating after it happens."

If you believe in gun rights, what are you compensating for?

Puppy Blender's wife says "I'm compensating for being too weak to carry a whole cop around with me."

Me? I'm compensating for being a peaceful man with no hand-to-hand combat experience. Without an unfair advantage, everything I own or love is forfeit if someone decides to take it from me, and I damn well know it.

Astronomical News of the Weird

Astronomers have discovered a planet made of carbon so dense that it's effectively one solid diamond.

Astronomers later discovered that, tragically, it had been eaten by a small dog.

I Don't Understand the Internet

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #96,999)

I made this thing about 2 years ago. Basically it was my first attempt to make a YouTube video, and my first experiment with making a Windows Moviemaker slideshow video.

And two years later it's not only still getting traffic, it's becoming increasingly popular.

Frankly, I thought it was mediocre at best. If I were to do it again today, I wouldn't repeat images, and I'd fancy up the transitions some just to make it a little livelier.

But I guess Obama has made such a pariah of himself that this thing can pass for good in a world filled with much better things.

Here's the traffic history:



[SBA day 6]

Wish I Had Their Coffee

When my house catches fire, I want these guys to come put it out:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #139,732)

[SBA day 5]

I Thought I Knew Him From Somewhere

Mr. T, that is:

While he was in his late twenties, Tureaud won two tough-man competitions consecutively.[21] The first aired as "Sunday Games" on NBC-TV under the contest of "America's Toughest Bouncer" which included throwing a 150 lb stuntman, and breaking through a four-inch wooden door.[22] For the first event, Tureaud came in third place. For the end, two finalists squared off in a boxing ring for a two-minute round to declare the champion. Making it to the ring as a finalist, his opponent was a 280 pound Honolulu bouncer, Tutefano Tufi.[23] Within twenty seconds "Mr. T" gave the six foot five competitor a bloody nose, and later a bloody mouth. He won the match and thus the competition.[24] The second competition was aired under the new name "Games People Play" on NBC-TV. When interviewed by Bryant Gumbel before the final boxing match, Mr T. said, "I just feel sorry for the guy who I have to box. I just feel real sorry for him."[25] For this second competition the final event of the fight was scheduled to last three rounds, but Mr. T finished the fight in less than 54 seconds. When Sylvester Stallone spotted Mr. T in this second airing, it is strongly believed that the interview with Bryant Gumbel was worked into the scene of the Rocky movie that originated his famous line "I don't hate him but...I pity the fool."

I actually remember Mr. T from the "America's Toughest Bouncer" show in 1980, before he got the A-Team gig.

Not easy to forget a big black guy with a mohawk crashing through a door. The image is seared, SEARED into my memory.

Why the hell was I watching that? Because I lived at home, we had one TV, 3 networks to choose from, and Dad thought it was better than whatever crap was on ABC or CBS that night.

Anyway, Mr. T has quite an interesting bio. Check it out.

[SBA day 4]

A-Team So Far

After hearing that the A-Team movie was "fun" (and by golly it really was), I found myself wondering if the TV series was as good as I remembered, or if it was just the nostalgic haze talking.

Turns out... yeah, that's fun, too. It ain't Shakespeare, but - unlike the chaff-cluttered wasteland of network reality TV - at least it has a script with the occasional clever line. I miss scripts with clever lines. Modern TV execs are too cheap to pay writers to come up with them any more.

Thanks to Netflix, I'm 13 episodes in so far, and I'll toss out of few random observations:

1) In every episode, a car WILL go up into the air and land on its side or roof.

2) Surprisingly, BA has yet to pity a single fool. He HAS growled at quite a few suckers, though. Also, for being the team's muscle, he does a lot less brawling than you'd expect. Mostly he just intimidates (and does it well).

3) Hannibal is a dangerous lunatic who ENJOYS running directly into machine gun fire. Face is a pathological liar, and Murdoch is certified nuts by the state of California. BA is the only sane member of the team. He's not crazy at all. Just irritable.

4) Apparently it's amazingly common to be able to fire an automatic weapon from the back of a car bouncing down a dirt road, and have all the bullets strike in a perfectly straight line 6 inches to the side of your target's front tire. Absolutely uncanny, that.

5) Dwight Schultz is a far more versatile actor than you would ever suspect from his role as Barclay in Star Trek.

6) Good luck getting that theme song out of your head.

[SBA day 3]

All You Need to Know About Home Defense

From Blogson Shakey Pete:

The pump shotgun is too big to handle in the house. I know we tell civilians to fort up the whole family in one room, defend that room and wait for the local police. That is a great idea except we hear a noise? Is it the dog? Is it one of the kids going to pee? Is it your daughter's no good boyfriend sneaking over, again? Sure, call 911 every time you hear a noise. Umm, no. What works is to grab your good bright flashlight, tuck your handgun just behind your back, in your strong hand, and check it out.

You do not want a rifle or shotgun then, how do you handle a two handed gun and light switches, kids and dogs all at once? So, the first thing you need is a good flashlight and then a handgun. If you don't get a good flashlight, don't bother with a gun.

What gun? I will go against common wisdom here. Unless you shoot for sport I say choose a revolver. Autoloaders have advantages for police and military. Revolvers have other advantages. Put a loaded revolver in your bedside table and thirty years later it will still fire those corroded-green shells. An auto? Probably not. Naturally I'd like you to practice a lot but most folks won't. Truth is, skill doesn't matter all that much. If a citizen gets into a gunfight it's going to be really close. What really counts is willingness. Gunfights happen within the width of a car or the length of a car. The width of a room, the length of a room. Once a citizen learns to hit a target at the range of the biggest room in her house, she's good enough.

For advice on the right gun, go read the rest. And for heaven's sake do NOT be shy about asking Pete for firearms advice, because A) he loves to give it, and B) I can guarantee it'll at least be sensible.

As for the right flashlight, I'll plug this cheap, bright, long-battery-life bastard. Hell, it even comes with free batteries that (and I tested this), will keep the thing lit up for at least 12 straight hours.

I bought 7 of 'em (to qualify for free shipping) and scattered 'em about the house.

Not Sure If It's Appropriate to Be Disappointed, But I'm a Jerk, So It's OK

[Hat tip: bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks]

I'd heard my name was on the hurricane list this year. Looks like we finally hit Atlantic storm #8, and here's the report:

Tropical Storm Harvey weakened Saturday as it moved across northern Guatemala, while Tropical Storm Irene formed east of the Leeward Islands.

Harvey, which was expected to enter eastern Mexico on Sunday, had maximum sustained winds of 40 mph, according to the Miami-based National Hurricane Center.

As of Saturday night, Harvey was located about 40 miles north-northwest of Tikal, Guatemala.

It was heading west at 14 mph and continued weakening was predicted as the storm moved inland. Harvey could be downgraded to a tropical depression on Sunday and dissipate by Monday, forecasters said.

No tropical warnings or watches were in effect in connection with Harvey.

Well... that's... not very exciting.

40 mph? I make a faster breeze hanging up on telemarketers.

Part of me is glad that no one was hurt, and there's no property damage.

Another part of me is pouting because my storm didn't cut a devastating swath of destruction through the lives of millions of innocents, such that the World Meteorological Organization would be forced to retire the name, and it would live on forever to be spoken of only in whispers, much like Bart Starr's number on the Lambeau Field Ring of Honor is talked about in Dallas.

Ah well. I get another shot in 2018. Keep your fingers crossed.

[Note: Spotty Bloggers Anonymous, Day 2]

Spotty Bloggers Anonymous

The man with whom I've blogfathered several excellent bloggers is having a motivational problem. Like all bloggers (including me), he's having a dry spell:

If I had been deliberately avoiding posting shit because I was sick of it, I'd hang the "closed" sign on the front page in a heartbeat, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let it die just because I've fallen so far out of the daily habit of writing on this page that it's covered in cobwebs and dust. I have no excuse, not even laziness because being lazy is a choice and making a choice is still more of an effort than I've put into this place lately. Hell, I can post from my goddamn phone for crying out loud.
[...]
So, for the next 69 days (I like 69, it has a nice symmetry of give and take about it) I will post at least once every single day.
[...]
Day 1 starts now.

I offer these words of encouragement

---

Maybe you need a self-help group, like Spotty Bloggers Anonymous.

You've already admitted you have a problem, so just 11 more steps to go.

Offhand, I highly recommend you get to a VERY sucky post early so you don't inadvertently start setting the quality bar up high and telling yourself "I'm not posting anything today because I can't think of anything good."

Suggestion for tomorrow:

"This is my post for today."

ANYTHING you post after that will seem good by comparison.

Do not fear the suck. Embrace the suck. The suck is your friend.

---

Feel free to drop by Grau's place and say "My name is ________, and I'm a spotty blogger."

Bring your own coffee & cigarettes.

Anyway, I'm taking the pledge with him. Consider this MY day 1.

Brought to you as a public service of Spotty Bloggers Anonymous: "Posting suck, one day at a time."

Thought While Watching My New Kitten Explore Her Environs

Cats, while curious, are not typically dumb enough to be suicidal. They know when to quit. Most of the worst strain of stupid was bred out of them in Egypt. All the truly moronic cats died falling off the pyramids before they were old enough to breed.

The paw of Darwin is tough, but fair.

Say It With Me

Every gun is always loaded. If it's not, treat it like it is.

Harvey's Law of Typographical Frustration

When you move your mouse over a dialogue box, click to activate it, and start typing, any typographical errors will occur so as to be obscured under the mouse pointer.

Obvious Question

Via Very Demotivational:



Who took this picture?

You'll Never Look At Your Cat the Same Again

Catchy tune, and the truest lyrics you'll ever hear.

And for those who don't like cats, you'll like this video, too.

Caution: adult language & lots of it.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #4,191,392)

Very Smart Cat

Via Very Demotivational:



Can't say I ever understood wearing Crocs past one's property line.

Pop Quiz

The Obama family, or People of WalMart?

Now THIS Is An Optical Illusion

Via Very Demotivational:



Intellectually, I know the circles are there, but I just can't see them all at once.

Also, it REALLY hurts to look at this for very long.

Common Sense Illustrated

Via Technabob:

Back in April, the government cut the funding for SETI out and the project went offline for the first time. In an effort to start looking again for E.T., SETI held a fund raiser.

The goal was to raise the money that the project would need to go back online. The number that the scientists decided was needed to bring SETI back was $200,000. They started taking donations and with three days left in the program, the team had already raised $207,000.

As I'm sure someone once said before me, if it's a good idea, it can make it without government funding. If it's a bad idea, then the government shouldn't be funding it, anyway.

Can we put public TV & radio on the block next, please? I know Sesame Street would get picked up by some network in a heartbeat, but I'm VERY curious to see how the rest of that artsy-fartsy liberal politi-screed crap would fare.

At Some Point, the Pride Does Kick In

Ok, this is some cute stunt driving:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #776)

But I would NEVER own one of these cars.

Because it's a pitiful little piece of crap.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not vain, and I generally don't care what I drive as long as it gets me from point A to point B. I don't think I've ever owned a car that had less than 100,000 miles. Most of them had rusty fenders. And I've driven my share of hatchbacks.

But holy Christ, this thing's smaller than a damn VW Bug. It would lose if it got T-boned by a chihuahua

Gotta draw the line somewhere. Here's mine.

To Paraphrase Heinlein

"An unarmed society is a conquered society."

From Empire to slave state. Didn't take that long, really.

The worst part is that, if Underwear Guy fought back with a knife or a gun in England, he'd be arrested, prosecuted, and jailed.

Punctuation Problem

Via Moogie:



Right there with you on 9 of 'em, but...

Lord help me, I just can't stop myself from using apostrophes when I pluralize numbers and letters.

For example:

"I had some old keyboards, got bored, and popped some of the keys off. I'm surrounded by piles of 5's & M's"

It just looks confusing to me if I end that with 5s & Ms

Doubtful

College student whining that she'll no longer be elligible for food stamps:

"Students should be focusing on their education, not whether or not they'll be able to eat dinner or whether they can manage to find a job and balance it on top of their studies,"

Yeah... "on top of their studies".

I think she means on top of sex, parties, drinking, hanging out at bars, TV, Facebook, texting and possibly video games. Because a job will definitely cut into those.

Anyway, whiner, shut up and eat your 10-for-a-buck ramen noodles.

As for the job, try working at a pizza place. They'll feed you once per shift, plus there's always burns, mis-makes, and returns.

Every Browser Should Open With This Warning

From Regretsy:

"an internet community you feel at home in – hell, even a community you create – is not your safe place. It’s the internet."

Look, I've always been blessed by the fact that only people who ever read my blog were people who agreed with me, or were at least adult and polite about their disagreement.

But I've been in some of the seedier corners of the internet. I know what people are capable of, and I've always been mentally prepared to deal with them if they come slithering over. I realize and accept the fact that I'm living in a house with unshuttable doors & windows.

Which also makes me one of those unsympathetic assholes who laughs at the word "cyberbully".

Sorry, there, "sensitive" people, you've got 3 options:

1) toughen up

2) password protect

3) get off the internet

Weasel Words

It's the art of saying something that be construed in two ways, one of which is a lie, so that if questioned later, you can claim you meant the innocent version.

This man's use of them borders on artistry.

First, verbatim from the Weekly Standard:

MSNBC host Martin Bashir interviewed Stanton Peele, a psychologist and an "expert on addiction," this afternoon. Bashir urged Peele to psychologically evaluate supporters of the Tea Party. "It reminds us of addiction because addicts are seeking something that they can't have," Peele said. "They want a state of happiness or nirvana that can't be achieved except through an artificial substance and reminds us of the Norway situation, when people are thwarted at obtaining something they can't, have they often strike out and Norway is one kind of example to one kind of reaction to that kind of a frustration."

Bashir later asked: "So you're saying that they are delusional about the past and adamant about the future?"

"They are adamant about achieving something that's unachievable, which reminds us of a couple of things. It reminds us of delusion and psychosis," Peele responded.

The lie he wants you to hear:

"The Tea Party can't have what they want. And that frustration will drive them to kill people like that guy in Norway did. They are delusional and psychotic."

However, by prefacing everything with "reminds us", he didn't actually make a definitive, declarative statement about the Tea Party, he simply made a statement that two items are associated in his mind.

For example, I could say that - being a human male - Peele reminds me of Hitler. While some may assume I've said that Peele is a dangerous, amoral sociopath with a hidden agenda, I am certainly free to clarify that I was merely making an innocent comment on comparative biology.

Although doing so would make me a two-faced weasel, so I'd probably forgo making the original comparison out of decent respect for rhetorical clarity.

Keyboard Update

As an experiment, I actually DID pop the "Insert" key off my keyboard.

After 2 weeks of nearly non-stop typing on this puppy, (it's part of my day job) I can honestly report that not only do I not miss it, I've also never accidentally hit the stump of a button under where the key was.

Seriously, this is the hot-pink fuzzy-dice of keyboard mods. I'm lovin' it.

The "Insert" key is still in my desk drawer if I ever really need it again, but I just can't picture ever going back.

How to Clean Your Glock

This is exactly the same method I use on my Glock 17, except I use Q-tips instead of cleaning patches so I can get into the crevices better.

Oh, and I usually wear a thong:


[EyeHandy direct link]

[Courtesy of Blogson Peter of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack]