My wife asked me for a divorce.
I might not have much to say here for a while.
Still nothing worth posting
1 hour ago
Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML
You thought those small condiment cups you get at fast food restaurants only held a thimble's worth of ketchup, right? You were wrong. Horribly, brutally wrong. Turns out you can fan them out, meaning you can dunk your fries by the fistful into a sea of crimson tomato deliciousness. Consider your life forever changed.
Me: What?! What's wrong with Weird Science? It's a Classic 80s movie!
Eric *turning to my boys*: Classic 80s? Guys. Listen to me. It's like ordering a corn dog and saying, "This is the best corn dog I've ever had". It's still... a corn dog.