Light Posting Ahead

My wife asked me for a divorce.

I might not have much to say here for a while.

The Counting Song!

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #342,709)

Yes, I know... just keep watching...

Why I Like to Kick It Old School

From FML:

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

You're drunk, you're high, it's hot, your hands are sweaty, and you're surrounded by the type of degenerates that enjoy the same kind of music you do.

THAT is why I still wave a disposable butane lighter around like some sort of prehistoric proto-hominid cave-dweller, instead of lifting a $400 electronic device made out of glass to a height of 7 feet off a concrete floor, while surrounded by strangers with questionable ethics.

Now You Can Dip Your Waffle Fries at Chik-fil-A

[Gizmodo, via American Digest]

You thought those small condiment cups you get at fast food restaurants only held a thimble's worth of ketchup, right? You were wrong. Horribly, brutally wrong. Turns out you can fan them out, meaning you can dunk your fries by the fistful into a sea of crimson tomato deliciousness. Consider your life forever changed.

Update Your Bookmarks

Blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review has undergone the blogging equivalent of... I'm not really sure... either entering the witness protection program or sexual reassignment surgery.

Either way, he's now blogging as Evil Drinking Buddy (E.D.B.) at Private Beer Stash.

Anyway, I'm proud of him making such a drastic change.

The first rule of blogging is that it's your blog, and you can do whatever the hell you want with it.

You run it, it doesn't run you.

Oh, and huge kudos for one of the suckiest traditionally sucky first posts on the internet.

P.S. His wife is co-blogging with him as Blondelicious, which is as apt a handle as I've ever heard.

At Least a Corn Dog Has a Nice Flavor Balance

From blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice, I offer this quote:

Me: What?! What's wrong with Weird Science? It's a Classic 80s movie!

Eric *turning to my boys*: Classic 80s? Guys. Listen to me. It's like ordering a corn dog and saying, "This is the best corn dog I've ever had". It's still... a corn dog.

Yeah, I get the point, and I'll probably be saying "It's still a corn dog" a lot from now on, because it DOES apply in a lot of situations.

But classic 80's movies?

Look, there's a lot to not like about the shallow, insipid pop-culture of that decade, but the movie scene wasn't one of them.

The 80's was that wonderful transition period right after Star Wars when whole new vistas of special effects were opening up. Green screen had cleaned up enough so there was no longer a fuzzy black outline around composite shots, and advances in robotics and latex-molding gave us actual convincing aliens & monsters instead of guys in rubber suits.

Nowadays, advances in CGI have made directors lazy.

Don't have a good script? Who cares. Just throw more crap on the screen until the audience is too distracted to notice there's no story.

If your live-action movie is more computer-cartoon than live action, you're doing it wrong.

For a corn dog to work, it need both corn AND dog.

And a stick, too, I guess, but I'm not sure where that fits in the analogy. Gratuitous scenes featuring topless women, maybe (God bless "RoboCop" for that one half-second shot in the locker room).