Monday, September 30, 2013

Me? I Don't Mind Paying the Man

Shoe Comics, 9-26-13:



You're not paying him to turn the screw, you're paying him for knowing which screw to turn.

Friday, September 27, 2013

I Guess It's Kitten Week at Bad Example

Fireman rescues kitten (grab some Puffs before hitting play):


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #2,544,954)

Thursday, September 26, 2013

One Man's Trash

So, a couple years ago, I adopted this little kitten from a family who didn't want her and had her living out in the barn.



I thought she was just a defective Siamese, what with the white nose & the white paws instead of having the dark points typical of the breed.

Turns out she's actually a very good example of a rather scarce breed called a Snowshoe:


[Discovery.com direct link]

Coco is only a couple years old, but she knows her name and comes when called. Smart cat.

Gets along well with the other cats, too.

So everything they say in the video is true. She's cute, charming, gregarious, and intelligent.

Sometimes you just never know when a kitten that someone else doesn't want will turn out to be an incredible treasure.

Today's life lesson

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Not Weird

via Winning at Everything



I used to work as a bank teller, and occasionally pulled the drive-up shift. We had little jars of dog treats at our work stations.

Trust me, the scene above is not the slightest bit unusual.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

War Zone


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,772,948)

In my house, it's a Snowshoe vs. catnip mice, but the battle goes similarly.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Sometimes It's Just Nice to Watch Someone Who's Good at What He Does

It's not a spoiler to say that he doesn't hit a single puck.

You'll be on the edge of your seat anyway, because you won't believe he'll be able to do it without messing up. He can't possibly watch his stick and both skates and all those pucks at the same time.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #2,007,648)

Oh, and the final shot is fake. The rest of it's real.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I'm Gonna Need a Bigger Board

Much like Homer Simpson, I've long found cars' factory-installed "cup" holders to be feeble and inadequate.
(Homer makes demands to the car engineers about what needs to go in the new car.)

Homer: All right, you eggheads! I want a place in this car to put my drink!

Engineer: Sir, the-the car has a beverage holder.

Homer: Hello! Hello, Einstein! I said a place to put MY drink. You know those Super Slakers they sell at the Kwik-E-Mart? (Makes a large circle with his hands.) The cup is THIS big!

Engineer: (Talks as he writes on a clipboard.) Extremely large beverage holder.

My cup looks more like this:



I'm considering doing a custom job along these lines to keep it from tipping over whenever I take corners on 2 wheels, as I am often wont to do:



There'd need to be some modifications, of course, but I think the principle's sound.

Monday, September 16, 2013

I'm Sure It Sounded Like a Good Idea to the Boys in R & D

Smores-flavored candy corn:



Let's just say it makes a better theory than a product.

There's hints of graham cracker, marshmallow, and chocolate, but the overwhelming flavor is candy corn.

I'll call this one a swing and a miss.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Geraniums? More Like Insaniums!

Someone's having themselves a little technicolor end-of-summer celebration:



Not bad for a plant that had pooped its party a month ago.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

I Think My Uterus Just Went "Ping!"


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #621,557)

It's stuff like this that makes me wish I had a daughter.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

1000 OR SO WORDS ON 9/11

(reposted from 9/11/04)

Higher, please.

(click to enlarge)




This picture is an original work of art by Bryan Larsen, which I found pre-9/11/01 at the Quent Cordair Art Gallery site. It fascinated me enough to bookmark it then, and I've viewed it many times since. Both professional quality and poster prints of this image are available via the Quent Cordair site.

The following text appears at the first link:
The following letter was written by Quent Cordair on Friday, September, 14, 2001, to our mailing list:

Dear friends, family and associates,

As a former U.S. Marine, I once carried a rifle in our defense. I've two younger brothers in the military who now stand ready to cover that end of things. The firemen, doctors, rescue personnel, blood donors, the brave New Yorkers and others on the scene are giving what they have to give to the effort. Philosophers are fighting with the pen. The artists' tools are uniquely valuable as well.

As a gallery owner, I offer what I have -- a single image to inspire, to counter the endless images of the destruction which we've all endured over the past days. This image stands in lucid contrast, in defiance of those who would destroy. It is a re-affirmation of who we are, of what we've created, of what we've built, of what we will rebuild and build higher yet, with unthwarted and unconquered determination. Those who would destroy us have not touched our essence.

My thanks to the artist, Bryan Larsen, who during the months in which others were plotting to destroy the World Trade Center, was busy creating, featuring the towers in an artwork which identifies and celebrates in theme all the towers stood for. The creation of this painting while others were targeting the painting's subject for destruction was no coincidence; there is no irony in the timing. Each side identified the WTC as a vital symbol of America in these times; one side sought to destroy that value, the other to celebrate it and build on it. In retrospect, the artwork stands in memorial. The World Trade Center was not fully appreciated, by many, until it was gone.

May this image serve as inspiration as we recover and look to the future. Please feel welcome to share it with all, to remind ourselves, and the world, of who we are, undaunted and unbeaten. God bless America, those who built it, those who will build again, and higher.

Quent Cordair
Again, I say...

Higher, please.

Monday, September 9, 2013

You Have to Learn English Before You Can Butcher It Properly

I readily admit to mangling the English language for both recreation and profit.

The thing is, I do it on purpose, and I can choose not to just as easily as choosing to do so.

Seems the next generation may lack that option:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #264,087)

I don't know whether to mock, gloat, or weep.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

I Think I Have to Get Married Now

A mailing list bought by a company that sells feminine hygiene products sent this to my non-existent wife at my home address:



Apparently I have to get married by the time this offer expires on 11/4 or else.

I hate corporate shotgun weddings...

Friday, September 6, 2013

Color!

Early in the summer, I got a geranium for my front stoop, because it was colorful and my house is gray.

About a month ago, a big rainstorm came through and wiped out every single blossom. The plant was still healthy, with nice green leaves, but not a single petal remained.

It's coming back now:

Someday Soon, Your Doctor's Office Will Be Like This, Thanks to Obamacare

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics has her all-too-true DMV horror story posted.

I just got my drivers license renewed Tuesday, so I also spent some quality time at the DMV recently.

I was just as puzzled by her at their bizarre letter-number-combination take-a-number system as she was. My number was C182. I was there long enough to memorize it.

Sitting next to me in the waiting area was a stupid blond girl with a huge tattoo on her thigh who spent the whole time fiddling with the phone. Someday I expect she will text while driving, lose her license, then skateboard drunk. (You'll need to visit the above link to get that reference)

On the bright side, I managed to squint hard enough to avoid getting a "must wear glasses" restriction on my license this time. I was kinda worried about that.

Just to be safe, though, everyone in Wisconsin should stay off the sidewalks when they see me driving by for a couple years.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Depends on What You Mean by Voluntary

I get the Snopes newsletter, and this week they were looking into the question of whether the Obamacare law authorizes federal home inspections.
Grassfire's Liberty News team is reporting on a little-known aspect of ObamaCare — FORCED HOME INSPECTIONS.

Simply put, provisions of ObamaCare allow federal agents to activate forced home inspections. The inspections are being sold as a simple act to ensure eligibility, but upon digging deeper we find the agents will have broad authority in using the new tool to clamp down on privacy and violate American rights.

Homeschool your kids? Smoke a cigar from time to time? Have a member who was at one time active duty military? ObamaCare enables agents to force a home inspection upon you.

And no state will be off limits to the ObamaCare inspections.

They said "no".
However, nothing in the PPACA authorizes federal or state agents to "target" and conduct forced inspections at such households. The PPACA requires that MIECHV grant recipients give priority to such households (because that's where the return on money spent is highest), but as stated in the press release quoted above, the MIECHV grant program brings "nurses, social workers, or other health care professionals to meet with at-risk families that agree to meet with them in their homes. Likewise, the relevant section (p. 251) of the PPACA specifically states that MIECHV grant recipients must provide "assurances that the entity will establish procedures to ensure that the participation of each eligible family in the program is voluntary." [all emphasis in original]

Ok, so it's "voluntary".

But that's not how it will be used.

How it will play out is that if you get on the wrong side of some irritable bureaucrat, they'll threaten you with legal action unless you "volunteer" to let these agents snoop around your house.

A nice, legal, little shakedown racket.

Lock up your valuables, kiddies. Underpaid civil servants have sticky fingers.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

If Internet Browsers Were Women

[via Technabob]



Me? I have a thing for a certain redhead in a blue dress...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Failing Chicken Anatomy 101

So I bought a whole chicken last week because it was on sale for cheap.

I've never actually bought a whole chicken before, but my dad did it a lot when I was a kid. Cheaper than buying pre-cut.

So I watched the cutting process lots of times. Although that was 30-40 years ago.

Turns out I didn't remember it as well as I thought.

Let's just say that, in terms of surgical precision, it made the wood-chipper scene in "Fargo" look like McCoy reconnecting Spock's brain.

Came out pretty tasty, though. Shake n' Bake hides a lot of crimes.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Extreeeeeeme Cooking!



What do they mean "if"?

I know someone who takes her orange zest that seriously.