Depends on the Day

Via Very Demotivational

On a bad day, I'd love to have a huge stack of these:



On a good day, it occurs to me that maybe the world would be a better place if we gave out thank-you cards to good parkers, instead.

Cure for Many Woes

via Cheezburger

The World's Saddest Frying Pan

Via Dude I Want That, available at Amazon:



Only room enough for one egg.

Who... only eats one egg?

Home Sweet Home

Can't say I care much for the William Morris's politics, but I can't really argue with this pithy statement on home decor (in fact, I mostly live it, except for my office):

"Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."

New Neighbors

A pair of turkeys that have been hanging around my neighborhood for the last week or so. In this picture they're walking away from my driveway, down the sidewalk. For perspective, the sidewalk is 4 feet wide. These are NOT small birds.



When my camera wasn't handy, I've variously spotted them in my back yard, walking up the sidewalk from my driveway to my front door, playing on the lawn of the office building across the street, and stopping traffic on the 4-lane road between my house and the office building across the street.

I have no idea where they came from, or why they're sticking around my neighborhood.

What Is This?

Picked it up at a second hand store:





Assembled, it's 10" long, 9" wide, and 4.5" high. It seems like it's covered in some sort of non-stick coating, and it comes apart into 2 pieces.

Any ideas?

I Am Nerd Enough to Want One of These

[Via Technabob]

Periodic table cutting board:



More designs at Elysium Woodworks

How People From Other States Imagine People From Wisconsin

Via American Digest


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3,737,256)

Although in Wisconsin, it's usually done with a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Not for the Acrophobic

Via The Awesomer:

Just some guys scootin' around about 2000 feet off the ground with no safety equipment.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #24,384,553)

I Suspect It's a Move to Get Campaign "Contributions" from the Sugared Beverage Industry

State of California at it again

Democratic Sen. William Monning’s bill proposed Thursday would require the warning on the front of all beverage containers with added sweeteners that have 75 or more calories in every 12 ounces. The label would read: "STATE OF CALIFORNIA SAFETY WARNING: Drinking beverages with added sugar(s) contributes to obesity, diabetes, and tooth decay."

Monning says there is overwhelming research showing the link between sugary drinks and those health problems, adding that the wording was developed by a national panel of nutrition and public health experts.

"When the science is this conclusive, the state of California has a responsibility to take steps to protect consumers," Monning said in a press release. "As with tobacco and alcohol warnings, this legislation will give Californians essential information they need to make healthier choices." [emphasis mine]

Just curious... is there anyone, anywhere, who actually thinks tobacco, alcohol, and/or sugar are actually healthy choices? Is anyone seriously making this argument? Will anyone pick up a case of Pepsi, see the warning, go "this has sugar? Sugar is bad for me? Well! I'm just putting this back! Thank you for protecting me, State of California!"

I can promise you that anyone who doesn't already know that sugar is not the healthiest choice... doesn't care. So the label won't change their behavior.

And anyone that DOES care... already knows, and is already making their choices without the label's help.

This is the most useless legislation ever.

Expect for the fact that [see title]

Now I Don't Have to See Any of These Movies

Clever concept:

"A husband and his wife argue and eventually call it quits using nothing but movie titles for their lines."


[Movie Title Breakup] (Viewer #745,735)

Please Just Give Me One Day Above 32 Degrees and I Promise I'll Never Complain About Winter Again

This Guy? Kinda My Hero

[Sonny the 70-year-old bodybuilder] (Viewer #415,048)

If You're Sufficiently Charming, You'll Never Needed Anything Past Option A

Via Very Demotivational:

Happy Valentine's Day

A Blog For The Ladies

But They Do Give Us Something, Mr. Spock. They Give Us Love

Gearing up for Valentine's Day, and nothing says love like a pink Tribble with heart-shaped deely-boppers on its head.

...wherever THAT is...



Via ThinkGeek

RIP Hal Sutherland (Rest in Pink). We went to look up more details on Mr. Sutherland's life only to find out he's just recently passed. The pink Tribble is his legacy. He was the colorblind director of animated productions at Filmation who made the Tribbles pink in the "More Tribbles, More Troubles" episode from Star Trek: The Animated Series episode. After all, they're these cute little creatures. Why wouldn't they be pink? Um... for the same reason the Klingon armor in the episode shouldn't be orchid? Although we hear Pantone did declare that shade 2014's color. Maybe he was just ahead of his time.

These anerable pink Tribbles purr and vibrate in response to touch or sound. They sport little red heart headbands, which are removable. They also feature an off button for when you need slightly less squeaking in your life.

[title reference link]

Really? Because I Like It Now

Coca-Cola took their goofy "diversity" commercial and pre-pended it with "E Pluribus Unum".

Personally, I think it's fixed now, although I guess some folks still don't like it.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #11,431)

Reminds me of when Reggie White got hammered for mentioning race while trying to express a very beautiful sentiment:

Why did God create us differently? Why did God make me black and you white? Why did God make the next guy Korean and the next guy Asian and the other guy Hispanic? Why did God create the Indians?

Well, it’s interesting to me to know why now. When you look at the black race, black people are very gifted in what we call worship and celebration. A lot of us like to dance, and if you go to black churches, you see people jumping up and down, because they really get into it.

White people were blessed with the gift of structure and organization. You guys do a good job of building businesses and things of that nature and you know how to tap into money pretty much better than a lot of people do around the world.

Hispanics are gifted in family structure. You can see a Hispanic person and they can put 20 or 30 people in one home. They were gifted in the family structure.

When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch. They’re very creative. And you look at the Indians, they have been very gifted in the spirituality.

When you put all of that together, guess what it makes. It forms a complete image of God.

The Best Part of the Movie, Now In Towel Form

From ThinkGeek.com



[Previously]

Double Dare You

Go ahead... try to listen to this song and feel sad.


Tiger Rag

Just try.

Ain't happenin'...

And if you liked that, be sure to try the Brahms.

How a Woman Can Capture My Heart

Via Technabob:



And it would also help if she wore this apron (bigger, mostly-readable version here)

On Comedic Racial Imbalance

Michelle Dean accuses a couple of white guys of implying that the reason there are so few women or "people of color" in the field of comedy is that they're just not as funny.

Oddly, her article fails to offer a list of hilarious women or "people of color" comedians to contradict the assertion.

Sorry, Michelle, it's not prejudice, it's statistics.

There's more white guys, so more of them are going to do stand-up. And if 90% of comedians are white guys, then there's only a 10% chance that even 1 not-white comedian will be in the top 10% of comedians that get most of the exposure, recognition, and good gigs.

Here's a better question: what's up with black guys and sports? Especially football. There's basically no white receivers, no black offensive linemen, and I don't think I've ever seen a black kicker.

And don't even get me started on the lack of white basketball players.

I call racism.

Not Ready Yet

Look! It's a paper-thin keyboard.


[Paper Keyboard]

And it suffers from the same drawback as ALL non-tactile keyboards:

You can't rest your fingers on the keys, so you'll never be able to touchtype on it.

I'm staying old-school.

Klingon Valentine

Via Neatorama:



In case you've forgotten what Klingon love is like, it involves poetry and evasive maneuvers:


Klingon mating ritual

Wall O' Lego

Via Winning at Everything



Cool-looking, but I can't help thinking it would've been cheaper to make that wall out of solid gold. #LegosAreOverpriced

But It's a Dry Cold

It's still below freezing here, and it's likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future.

So I Googled "happy thoughts", because I hate it when the temperature's below 32.

Found this bit of cheer:

Add up all the little joyful things that happen to you during the day. For example, there was no traffic on the road, you had a very decent and scrumptious breakfast, your friend said something uproariously humorous that made you laugh, you took your dog out for a walk in the park and played with it. All of these matters added together account to one big chunk of happiness.

Feel deeply grateful for the things you have. This is a very effective way to be happy. If you feel grateful for the things you have, you not only become more happy but it also helps you to bring more into your life.

View the glass as half-full instead of half-empty. Your girlfriend/ boyfriend broke up with you? Now you have the chance to meet someone else! You lost your job? Now you can seize the opportunity to find a better one! Adjust your mentality so that, in everything that happens to you, there's some kernel of good.

My Hand Is Ringing. I Need to Take This

Very silly, yet somehow delightfully clever. I would never get one, but I like the idea:

Now you'll be able to stay warm and look crazy with these Bluetooth headset gloves, with a thumb earpiece and pinky microphone.

Those crazy Italians. What will they think of next?

Better Than Hobbits

I was going to see "Hobbit 2: The Smauggening" this weekend, but, courtesty of Netflix, I watched a different 3 hour movie instead:

1952's "The Greatest Show on Earth", featuring a shockingly young-looking (age 29) Charleton Heston (I'm more accustomed to his 50ish version from "Planet of the Apes")

Very entertaining. I had no idea circuses were that much fun or that colorful. This movie would've been horrible in black & white.

Oddly, my favorite moment was actually recognizing Bob Hope and Bing Crosby's uncredited cameo appearance during a panning-shot of the audience.


The Greatest Show on Earth - Trailer

For Topology Nerds

Klein Bottles - the Möbius Strip you can drink out of:

A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Möbius band was divine.
Said he: "If you glue
The edges of two,
You'll get a weird bottle like mine."



Now available from Acme Klein Bottle:

At last, Acme has conquered topological and engineering frontiers to manufacture genuine glass Klein Bottles. These are the finest closed, non-orientable, boundary-free manifolds sold anywhere in our three spatial dimensions.

These elegant bottles make splendid gifts, outstanding classroom displays, and inferior mouse-traps. With its circle of singularities, an Acme Klein Bottle can be said to exist inside of itself -- especially handy during time-reversals.

A mathematician's delight, handcrafted in glass

... from your Zero Volume Klein Bottle distributor