On a bad day, I'd love to have a huge stack of these:

On a good day, it occurs to me that maybe the world would be a better place if we gave out thank-you cards to good parkers, instead.
Because bald guys get called "Curly"
"Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."
Democratic Sen. William Monning’s bill proposed Thursday would require the warning on the front of all beverage containers with added sweeteners that have 75 or more calories in every 12 ounces. The label would read: "STATE OF CALIFORNIA SAFETY WARNING: Drinking beverages with added sugar(s) contributes to obesity, diabetes, and tooth decay."
Monning says there is overwhelming research showing the link between sugary drinks and those health problems, adding that the wording was developed by a national panel of nutrition and public health experts.
"When the science is this conclusive, the state of California has a responsibility to take steps to protect consumers," Monning said in a press release. "As with tobacco and alcohol warnings, this legislation will give Californians essential information they need to make healthier choices." [emphasis mine]
RIP Hal Sutherland (Rest in Pink). We went to look up more details on Mr. Sutherland's life only to find out he's just recently passed. The pink Tribble is his legacy. He was the colorblind director of animated productions at Filmation who made the Tribbles pink in the "More Tribbles, More Troubles" episode from Star Trek: The Animated Series episode. After all, they're these cute little creatures. Why wouldn't they be pink? Um... for the same reason the Klingon armor in the episode shouldn't be orchid? Although we hear Pantone did declare that shade 2014's color. Maybe he was just ahead of his time.
These anerable pink Tribbles purr and vibrate in response to touch or sound. They sport little red heart headbands, which are removable. They also feature an off button for when you need slightly less squeaking in your life.
Why did God create us differently? Why did God make me black and you white? Why did God make the next guy Korean and the next guy Asian and the other guy Hispanic? Why did God create the Indians?
Well, it’s interesting to me to know why now. When you look at the black race, black people are very gifted in what we call worship and celebration. A lot of us like to dance, and if you go to black churches, you see people jumping up and down, because they really get into it.
White people were blessed with the gift of structure and organization. You guys do a good job of building businesses and things of that nature and you know how to tap into money pretty much better than a lot of people do around the world.
Hispanics are gifted in family structure. You can see a Hispanic person and they can put 20 or 30 people in one home. They were gifted in the family structure.
When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch. They’re very creative. And you look at the Indians, they have been very gifted in the spirituality.
When you put all of that together, guess what it makes. It forms a complete image of God.
Add up all the little joyful things that happen to you during the day. For example, there was no traffic on the road, you had a very decent and scrumptious breakfast, your friend said something uproariously humorous that made you laugh, you took your dog out for a walk in the park and played with it. All of these matters added together account to one big chunk of happiness.
Feel deeply grateful for the things you have. This is a very effective way to be happy. If you feel grateful for the things you have, you not only become more happy but it also helps you to bring more into your life.
View the glass as half-full instead of half-empty. Your girlfriend/ boyfriend broke up with you? Now you have the chance to meet someone else! You lost your job? Now you can seize the opportunity to find a better one! Adjust your mentality so that, in everything that happens to you, there's some kernel of good.
Now you'll be able to stay warm and look crazy with these Bluetooth headset gloves, with a thumb earpiece and pinky microphone.
Those crazy Italians. What will they think of next?
At last, Acme has conquered topological and engineering frontiers to manufacture genuine glass Klein Bottles. These are the finest closed, non-orientable, boundary-free manifolds sold anywhere in our three spatial dimensions.
These elegant bottles make splendid gifts, outstanding classroom displays, and inferior mouse-traps. With its circle of singularities, an Acme Klein Bottle can be said to exist inside of itself -- especially handy during time-reversals.
A mathematician's delight, handcrafted in glass
... from your Zero Volume Klein Bottle distributor