Bad Example

Still in the Testing Phase

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:36:00 +0000

My cats seem to prefer being petted backwards (tail to head).

Is this normal, or are my cats just really weird?

Help me do some research on this.

Forget "Click It or Ticket" - THIS Is Why You Should Wear a Seat Belt

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Wed, 15 May 2013 13:11:00 +0000

Not a scratch, not a bump, not a bruise. Just walking away from the scene making casual conversation:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #101,937)

Cue Defiance

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 17:19:00 +0000

Got this email from ThinkGeek.com:

In case you're not aware, we have decided to publicly announce our participation in a recall for Buckyballs and Buckycubes along with several other retailers. We chose to participate because of the recent actions and findings of the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), which found that ingestion of Buckyballs and Buckycubes can result in serious internal injuries that can lead to death if left untreated. Unfortunately, at this time, the number of incidents causing injuries continues to rise.

We are emailing you today because you've purchased Buckyballs and Buckycubes from us in the past, so we'd like to offer you ThinkGeek credit towards a future purchase.

First, let me offer a rude gesture or two to the busybodies at the CPSC.

Sorry fellas, Buckyballs are a ton of fun, I'm an adult whose smart enough not to eat them, and you can have my Buckyballs when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Every Oscar-Winning Movie Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 04:54:00 +0000

My thanks to Og:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,755,102)

Surprising

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 13:22:00 +0000

I find that, after buying a sewing machine, I have a lot less time for blogging.

Funny how adding one little thing to your life can cause so many changes.

Hey! I Remember That Movie!

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 19:11:00 +0000

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #97,104)

To All My Female Friends With Body Image Issues

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 04:58:00 +0000

Barbie is a lie, and you clean up just as good as she does:

Man Rules

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 19:05:00 +0000

(Via Freedom Is Just Another Word)
_______________

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE…

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE... REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
_______________

Two addendums

1. I am in shape, and that shape is not round.

1. A good woman would be so grateful that I was being honest with her that she wouldn't want me to sleep on the couch. Probably wouldn't even want me sleeping...

Exactly

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 14:06:00 +0000

From IMAO:

I'd say I love writing, but it's truer to say I love sharing the things I think up and writing is the price I'm willing to pay to do that.

Seize the Luck

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 17:14:00 +0000

From According to Hoyt:

So - supposing you want to get somewhere - if planning doesn't work, how do you get where you want to go?

Why… by accident. Or not. It's more like Zen archery. You don't aim, but you know where the target is, and you stay lose, and you intend to reach it. And then, instead of planning how to get there, you stay alert for possible opportunities to get where you want to go. See an opportunity to work at something you always wanted to? Give it a chance. See something that needs doing and doesn't pay? Try it. Who knows? It might start to pay suddenly. Stay open to chaos and make use of it.

Science!

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Sat, 30 Mar 2013 17:06:00 +0000

So, Anonymiss told me how to keep my kitchen sponge from getting all icky & stinky by rinsing all the soap out of it, squeezing it dry, and putting it in the microwave for 1 minute to sterilize it.

It's a great idea, but the thing that bugged me about it is that if you rinse out all the soap from the sponge and squeeze it dry, you waste the soap that was still in the sponge.

As an experiment, I didn't squeeze out the sponge at all, and put in right in the microwave.

Turns out that when you boil soapy water in a sponge, it creates a bunch of suds.

On the bright side, wiping the suds up means I just cleaned my microwave with hot, soapy water. That's a GOOD thing, right?

Anyway, the sponge was steaming hot, so I'm pretty sure it's sterile now.

Knock It Off, Idiots

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 13:00:00 +0000

Via Fox

A national atheist organization is demanding that an Oregon city remove its Vietnam War memorial because it includes a cross.

Just to be clear - not THIS atheist.

Guys, it's not the Inquisition, it's just a symbolic way to honor the fallen

Maybe if you showed some courtesy toward other people's religion, you might get a little more shown to your lack of one.

Buncha thin-skinned morons.

I Know the Feeling

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 13:00:00 +0000

As a man who for many years used whatever shampoo the little woman stocked the shower with, I'm surprised this never happened to me.

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #559,542)

These days, nothing but shamanpoo touches my studly and distinguished salt-and-pepper locks.

Blunt

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 13:00:00 +0000

I'd say this is me in 20 years, but this is pretty much me right now:

[YouTube direct link]

Also, get off my lawn.

Inside My Head, This Is How I Feel About the Coming of Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:00:00 +0000

I hate winter in Wisconsin with a raw, throbbing passion that only this video can express.

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #277,557)

It should hit 50 degrees next week. I revel in the ecstasy of the relative warmth.

An Honest Question

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 13:00:00 +0000

From Spootville:

If I remember rightly, one of my first blog posts was to point out that we could balance the federal budget by eliminating all welfare and giving each of the poorest Americans a check for $40,000 each year. That would be cheaper than what we are doing now, and yet we have more poor people.

First, I'm taking this completely out of context, and Spoot is ONLY making the point of cost.

But... when I see words saying we should give the poor $40,000 a year, my visceral reaction is "WHY?"

I've had jobs that paid $40,000 a year. In exchange for that, I've had to drive through blizzards, work at least 8 hours a day, plus give up plenty of random nights & weekends because my employer "needed" me.

And yet it would be an *improvement* to our current system to give "poor" people $40,000 a year to do... what? Promise not to kill us in our sleep?

Screw the poor. This isn't charity. This isn't even welfare. This is extortion and grand larceny. My sympathy bucket is empty and dry.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go quell the urge to start strangling HHS employees.

Why It's Perfectly Ok to Meet Fellow Bloggers

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 15:04:00 +0000

From According to Hoyt:

Yesterday, in the comments, conversation strayed to whether or not we'd interact well as a group in meat-space, followed by the strong doubts that we wouldn't.

I'm not sure about this, because now that we've met, in the mind-space of the internet, we can probably carry that over into real life and enjoy ourselves immensely.

The thing about the internet is that we get to meet as onto angels, mind to mind and thought to thought, as if the incidentals of life counted for nothing.

Speaking from numerous personal experiences, I can say that if you read a particular blogger for a while, and you really like the personality they project with their written words, you will discover - if you meet them in the off-line world - that they are EXACTLY who you thought they were. And as much as you like them online, you will like them at least that much in person.

I think this is because people don't blog to be fake. They get enough of having to bend politely and put on masks in their everyday lives. The purpose of blogging is to give yourself permission to say what you think without having to first run your words through the filter of "is it ok for me to say this?". The purpose is to say what you believe, deep down, and feel the satisfaction of seeing in print an honest reflection of yourself. It's an exhilarating, liberating experience. One which comes all too infrequently in the ordinary course of a day.

I've never read a blog regularly, met the blogger in person, and then thought "wow, what a complete jerk".

Well, that's not entirely true, I suppose, but only because oftentimes their being a complete jerk is what I *like* about a blogger. (As Chris Muir of Day by Day once phrased it to me "Tact is a stranger to you. I like that.")

So, yeah. Meet up without fear.

DuckFace: It Ruins EVERYTHING

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 13:00:00 +0000

Ladies, NEVER get your picture taken like this. It's just ugly.

Manly Thought for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 13:00:00 +0000

From Chateau Heartiste

In sober moments free of maudlin introspection, you will understand there is no other game to play save this one. This is why to live as a man is to TAKE what you want. Not to wait for it to be given to you. Because it will never be given. Not to anticipate the empathy of the overseers. Because they will never empathize. Not to expect the coddling of the crowd. Because they will never coddle. Not to assume the wagon circling of kindreds. Because they will never circle for you. You got the short stick, now what? Do you contemplate it and hope for a longer one? No.

You sharpen it and jab it into the heart of every obstacle that sets itself in your way.

Urges

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 11:34:00 +0000

I can't look at this picture of a guy standing on top of the Burj Khalifa (the world's tallest building)

without hearing this song in my head (chorus starts at the 45 second mark):

[YouTube direct link]

They Did Not Die in Vain

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 13:00:00 +0000

An accident killed 7 Marines in Nevada. No official word on what exactly happened, but it sounds to me like munitions were mishandled and they went off.

"We send our prayers and condolences to the families of Marines involved in this tragic incident. We remain focused on ensuring that they are supported through this difficult time," said the force's commander, Maj. Gen. Raymond C. Fox. "We mourn their loss, and it is with heavy hearts we remember their courage and sacrifice."

What will happen next is that there will be a detailed investigation and whatever mistakes were made that caused the explosion will be written up in an incident report and used to improve training so that no other Marines make the same mistake out of ignorance or carelessness.

The deaths of these Marines will save the lives of countless other Marines in the future, and in doing so, these dead Marines will have fulfilled their mission - to save American lives, even at the cost of their own.

The beauty of the American military is that it seeks the truth in order to learn from its mistakes, even if those mistakes are embarrassing to people in positions of power. This is the root of honor and integrity.

God bless them all.

I've Got Tunnel Vision

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 15:00:00 +0000

People are going gaga over this picture, because she's holding a large size soda like liberty's torch in a big F.U. to Mayor Bloomberg's attempted large soda ban.

Really?

You look at that and the first thing you notice is a soda cup?

My eyes never got up that high.

Sarah Palin does 49 right.

Times Change

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 13:24:00 +0000

Speaking of which, yesterday I got waited on by a cashier (who was all of 16) who'd never seen a small-head $10 bill before.

She got the same look on her face that I had the first time I saw a $1 Silver Certificate dollar bill.

I should go back and buy something with a $2 bill just to watch her head explode.

I'm a Bad Friend

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 13:12:00 +0000

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,026,125)

There are people I'd be willing to do this for.

Wouldn't do them any good, though, because I'd never make it past the doorman since I'd have my Glock in my shoulder holster.

It's Really Hard to Shop for Kitchen Towels

noreply@blogger.com (Harvey) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 03:02:00 +0000

I have some nice blue & white kitchen towels. Love the way they look. Love the way they perform (they absorb water - I've owned towels that only do that as an afterthought). Problem is, they're getting old & stained & frayed.

Found exactly what I was looking for at Amazon.

But before I found them... damn... I must've looked in half a dozen department stores. And I discovered something. Blue is no longer a kitchen color. If you go shopping for ANYTHING for your kitchen - pots, pans, dishes, placemats, towels, whatever - it only comes in the most grotesque shades of green, yellow, and orange. Very much like the kitchen colors of the 70's, except off by a few shades, which somehow makes it even more stomach-churning to look at.

I blame the Food Network and the slew of preening, money-grubbing "celebrity" chefs they've spawned like so much under-sink mildew.

I hate it, but I also get it. It's how the industry works:

[Splicd direct link]