Monday, April 30, 2012


Michelle Obama has everything she's ever wanted, and now she complains that she doesn't like it.
"It is hard to sneak around and do what you want," Michelle Obama said today. "I have done it a couple of times. But you know one fantasy I have, and the Secret Service they keep looking at me because they think I might actually do it, is to walk right out the front door and just keep walking."

So, you're a millionaire living in a mansion, your kids are going to private school, you have chefs and chauffers, and you're cranky because you can't "do what you want."

Guess you should've married a man who earns a good living working an honest job instead of lampreying onto a politically ambitious community organizer.

Bed. Made. Lie down.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

I'm on Team Teacher

Via Winning at Everything:

[Full story here]

The important thing to take away here is that the kid didn't do his homework.

I say it's perfectly ok for the teacher to shame him and make him feel horrible so that it doesn't happen again.

There's nothing wrong with attaching a negative outcome to negative behavior.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Smartest Man in the World?

From Fox:
one GOP congressman said federally subsidized student loans have helped give the country "the equivalent of the stage three cancer of socialism."

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" Obama exclaimed.

So... the government completely nationalizes the entire student loan industry, and Obama pretends he doesn't understand how that can be labeled socialism?

His playing dumb would be cute if he weren't also playing with our future.

If Only Everyone Would Ride Public Transportation

I don't know if Obama's still on his "high-speed rail" kick, but it used to be his thing for a while.

Here's the downside that he never mentioned. You get hundreds of people stuck together for a long time, it's a candy store for pickpockets.

It's so bad in NYC that they want a special prosecutor JUST for subway crimes.

Think about that next time you hear Obama banging on about his "intercontinental railroad."

Thursday, April 26, 2012

What an Honor

Al Gore is being inducted into the Internet Hall of Fame because:
"Gore was one of the first government officials to recognize that the Internet’s impact could reach beyond academia to fuel educational and economic growth as well."

So... he was the first moron in government to figure out what everyone in the private sector already knew.

Must be a thrill to be named the brightest kid on the short bus.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Feeling Petty

Everyone wants to make fun of this picture because of the shocked-looking white chick.

I'm a little cranky tonight, so I'm going to list what I hate about Obama in this picture:

His tie has a half-windsor knot. Real men use full.

His tie isn't tight to his collar. Wear it right or take it off.

Roll down your sleeves. You look like a rube. I mean, it's not like you're planning on doing any work that might dirty up those soft, pretty little woman-hands.

Belt buckle's crooked. Should be directly above the fly.

Speaking of the fly, who ties your ties? Because it's about 5 inches too long.

Monday, April 23, 2012

So Wrong

Some liberal twit said the whole "Obama ate a dog" kerfluffle is because some people "want to pretend that this president is an alien creature."

No... it's because...

Obama ate a dog!

Then mentioned it in a book like it was perfectly normal.

Wake up, you obtuse moron - HE ATE A FREAKING DOG!

If you don't know what's wrong with that, you're not qualified to comment on American culture.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

To Andy, On His Blog Retirement

Everyone wants to hang it up sometimes.

That's fine.

Whatever you do, though, don't delete your blog.

Things change. Including minds.

Besides, I *guarantee* at some point you'll want to find an old post you wrote.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Probably Just Me

When I get this back-of-the-card design in Windows Solitaire:

It makes me wonder if the real design was something indecent that they had to blur out with pixelation.

Fair! Fair! Fair!

I'm sick to death of "fairness":
There remains a role for government to give everybody a "fair shot," Obama said.

Just give me liberty.

I'll make my own fairness.

Magic With New Parts of the Spectrum

Researchers are saying they've invented a new microchip that will allow user to see through walls by "tapping into an unused range in the electromagnetic spectrum."

Anyone else ever read Robert Heinlein's "Sixth Column"?

I'm Not Trusting This One, Either

The CBO is predicting that food stamp use will continue to rise slightly until 2014, then start falling.

Puts me in mind of Obama's famous prediction about unemployment:

Remember, if government workers could predict the future, they'd be putting that talent to use making money in the stock market.

Don't rely on a word they say about the future.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Better Than Star Trek Voyager

Cats in Space:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #111,034)

My Inevitable Fate

Sheldon Comics explains what will happen to me after I die.

Firefox Running Slow? YouTube Videos Hang or Freeze?

UPDATE: 2 days later, Firefox is running poorly again, so this was not the solution to my problem


Found a site that explains how to fix it with a minimum of fuss:

Just create a new profile.

Basically it has the same rejuvenating effect as a re-install, but it's completely reversible.

The downside:

1) Having to reinstall all my add-ons/extensions

It may help to jot down which versions of those you're currently running, so if you have an older version of Firefox, you can search for a version of the add-on that will work with it. I had to poke around a bit to find a version of Adblock Plus that worked with FF 3.6.9

2) Having to re-enter all the logins & passwords that I relied on Firefox remembering for me, and which I've long since forgotten. Fortunately, I have them all written down elsewhere, so I'll get by.

Also, you can find them by going to the Firefox menus: Tools>Options>Security>Saved Passwords. I just forgot to do it.

On the bright side, I can just open up my old profile and get them, then switch back.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

This Piece Needs a New Title

It's Called "100 Greatest Cooking Tips (of all time!)"

Here's the problem. There's a lot of trendy, neo-cookster hucksterism mixed in. Stuff that didn't even exist before the self-absorbed-to-the-point-of-being-Möbius-sponges Powers-That-Be at Food Network made it their life's mission to pretend out loud that cooking is an extreme sport, like BASE-jumping or skiing down a mountainside after jumping out of a helicopter.

Although you do get timeless, smart advice like:
3. Store spices in a cool, dark place, not above your stove. Humidity, light and heat will cause herbs and spices to lose their flavor.

You also get smug elitist condescension like this:
4. Use a coarse Microplane to shave vegetables into salads or vinaigrettes. You can create an orange-fennel dressing by adding grated fennel and orange zest to a simple vinaigrette.

Coarse Microplane? Shaving vegetables? Fennel?

Yeah, just like Grandma's kitchen.

Look, it's not a bad list, really, but I just wanted to warn you that you'll occasionally run into pockets of that "it's perfectly natural for meals to cost $100 a plate" stink.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Next Time, Just Stop at 100

There's this stupid cliche where people who give their all during an activity describe it as "giving 110%".

Joyless nitpickers (including me) enjoy pointing out that by definition it's impossible to give more than 100%.

Lately, though, I've been hearing more and more people doubling down on stupid and talking about "giving 120%"... because obviously people who give merely 110% are just lazy, slacking, slobs.

Well, I'm getting ahead of the curve.

From now on, I will give pi.

Which is upwards of 314%

Take that, you nap-taking, layabout couch-potatoes who are only giving e.

Asking the Right Question

Biden in New Hampshire:
"The Romney Rule says the very wealthy should keep the tax cuts and loopholes they have, and get an additional, new tax cut every year that is worth more than what the average middle class family makes in an entire year," he will say.

My question: "How does the government spending their money make me better off than if they spent it themselves?"

Really Bad at Math

The people running Seattle have the weirdest fantasies.

Like the one where they go from picking up trash weekly to once every 2 weeks:
Switching to every-other-week garbage collection would save the city about $6 million a year, officials say, while reducing neighborhood truck traffic and potentially keeping an additional 1,400 tons of waste a year out of the landfill.

Apparently one plus one somehow equals something less thas two in their universe.

I mean really. Less trash in the landfill? Because you don't pick it up as often?

If so, it will only be because frustrated homeowners - who feel cheated out of their tax money because you no longer provide the very basic service of weekly trash collection - will start dumping it in the lobby of City Hall.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Yes, Let's Go With This Standard

PBS described George Zimmerman as "white," justifying it because he has a white father and a Latina mother.

Still waiting for them to describe Obama as "America's 44th white president."

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Best Reason to Support Mitt Romney

From John Hawkins:
Obama is throwing the country off of a cliff and when you're plunging into a bottomless chasm, you can't get too picky about which branch you grab on the way down.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Obama Dumps High Speed Rail in Favor of High Speed Rotary Phones

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Meme-Tag: About Me

Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks tagged me, so I shall answer:

Your questions:

1. What's your favorite color?


2. If you get a plane ticket for free to go wherever you'd like - where would your final destination be?

San Francisco. I spent a couple years in the Navy stationed in Alameda, right across the Bay. Lots of fun & interesting touristy things to do & see in San Fran. It's a great place, as long as I don't have to discuss politics with anyone I meet.

3. Is there anything in your life you always wanted to do and never had the chance to?

Visit Australia. I like the accent, and I feel a kinship with the nation, since they, too, are a former British colony filled with the descendants of the wretched refuse tossed on their shore.

4. Which one is your favorite movie classic? (Let's say: Older than 20 years)

"The Princess Bride". SO quotable. Although I'm a bit depressed to realize it's a "classic" now, since I originally paid good money to see it in a theater.

5. If you were blond - would you mind the blonde-jokes (and of course if you ARE blonde - do you mind them?)

Nah. I'd just roll with it. I'm pretty easy-going

6. What is it that always and 100% certain makes you laugh?

Not a lot. But "Community" has a pretty darn good batting average.

7. Where do you usually buy your clothes?

Goodwill. Better selection than most department stores, and my fashion sense is questionable, at best, anyway.

8. Does wind bother you or do you like it?

Mostly it bothers me. I have naturally unruly hair, so even though I keep it short, one good breeze and I look like I just got back from Albert Einstein's barber. And I refuse to use "product".

9. What is it that you dislike about high school reunions?

The fact that some people think they're a good idea.

10. Are you a cat or dog person?

Cats. They purr, they relieve themselves in one spot, and if you leave them for a week with a bowl of water and a bucket of food, they'll still be alive when you get home. I've had dogs, too, but after picking up Horse-Dog Jake's gigantic piles for 12 years, I'm ok being dogless.

11. Can movies make you cry and if yes - when was the last time you cried in a movie theater or in front of the TV?

Yes, and somewhere during "Act of Valor".

Now, to pick the traditional three tagees:

Professor Hale of Rebellion University

Andrew of Magniflorious Phule

Calvin of Voices Inside My Head

Apple is Finally Mainstream

So... you make a good product, and now sociopathic idiots are dedicating their lives to ruining the experience of random strangers who use your product?

Welcome to Microsoft's world.

Need me to get a stepstool so you can dismount your high horse?


From the People Who Brought You Obamacare

Jay Carney, it makes me sick that these words can come out of your mouth and you can still sleep at night:
You know that the only way in modern day Washington to achieve a significant budget compromise is when both parties are willing to work together. That doesn't mean a unanimous Republican vote in the House or a unanimous Democratic vote in the Senate. It means coming together in a balanced way on a balanced approach. The president and Democratic leaders have demonstrated their willingness to embrace a balanced approach that the American people overwhelmingly support.

Funny, when Obamacare was on the line, it was all "we gotta push this through immediately to solve this urgent crisis," and not peep one about the kumbaya of bipartisanship.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Write 100 Times: I Will Not Pass Unconstitutional Laws

From Fox News: Judges order Justice Department to clarify Obama remarks on health law case

Loved this part:
Smith ordered a response from the [Department of Justice] within 48 hours. The related letter from the court, obtained by Fox News, instructed the Justice Department to provide an explanation of "no less than three pages, single spaced" by noon on Thursday.

So... anybodye else picturing Bart Simpson writing on the chalkboard during the opening credits of "The Simpsons"?

NBC Apologizes for Editing Zimmerman Call

(Cross-posted from IMAO)

President Obama's 12 Toughest Decisions

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Because It's Realistic

Via Very Demotivational

If you're going to be a hero, you need physical strength and mental discipline.

20-somethings are strong, but unfocused.

40-somethings have excellent concentration, but their bodies are deteriorating.

30-somethings find the sweet-spot of the combination.

Rare exceptions on both ends, but having watched all 27 episodes of Ninja Warrior, the theory seems to be borne out.

The "white" part is just being realistic about the target market.

26 Movie Monsters

With "monster" loosely defined.

[Vimeo direct link]

Thought I was doing fine, then I missed "I".

Doing well again, and missed O, Q, R, U, & X.

Little help? Or at least a link to an answer key?

Remind Me Not to Drive in Orlando

A 93-year-old woman finally stopped driving her 1964 Mercury Comet Caliente after putting 576,000 miles on it.

Why? Well the car's fine, but:
"I am legally blind, so I can no longer drive my lovely Chariot," she said by phone. "They don’t have to take it away, I would not dream of driving that car again."
she last drove on March 9. The following day, her worst fears were confirmed when she couldn't read large headlines in the newspaper, the result of years of deteriorating vision."

Defensive driving, folks.

Always & everywhere.

Because the other driver might be blind.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Total Recall Reboot

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #353,259)

I actually kinda liked the version Arnie did in 1990.

Now I watch this trailer and think, "oh, look. A darker, grittier reboot of a good movie, now with superfluous CGI and more comic-book physics."

I miss real, physical special effects. I swear that splattering ketchup on "dead" guys who are still breathing breaks the mood less than the 50 tons of sparkly twinkle-pixels that every movie feels obligated to cram in these days.

Sunday, April 1, 2012


I expect broadcast journalists to have a liberal bent. I expect them to slant and massage stories to a certain degree. I take everything they say with a grain of salt, and other than wishing they'd admit they've got an agenda for the sake of honesty, I'm really ok with it. Free speech is a wonderful thing.

But then there's flat-out lying.

That's not cool:
NBC has revealed that it is launching an internal investigation into the “editing process” surrounding the conversation between George Zimmerman and a police dispatcher (shortly before Trayvon Martin was shot), where Zimmerman appears to volunteer racial information.

Exposed by Fox News and Newsbusters, NBC played the conversation on the “Today Show” as: “This guy looks like he’s up to no good. He looks black.”

The unabridged version is:

Zimmerman: This guy looks like he’s up to no good. Or he’s on drugs or something. It’s raining and he’s just walking around, looking about.

Dispatcher: OK, and this guy — is he black, white or Hispanic?

Zimmerman: He looks black.